Friday, December 04, 2009

Another One Bites The Dust

You knew the picture was coming didn't you. Sooner or later, a photo or Tiger and the wife was going to be photo shopped as above.

Here's the thing. I don't really care about Tiger cheating on his wife. I really don't.

But if it was me? Let me tell you something, I hope she took a club that he had framed or bronzed and hanging on a wall somewhere in their house and smacked the shit out of him and his escalade.

Comeon' Tiger. What the fuck are you thinking? You're not thinking, that's the problem.

What's wrong with these men who have it all plus a beautiful, smart wife and children? Why do they feel the need to pick up sleazy cocktail waitress'. (NO, as a former cocktail waitress, they are not ALL sleazy)

Just stay single for Christ's sake and you are free to pick up every waitress from Twain to Seattle!!

As for Tiger's wife. You go girl. Next time, knock a few teeth out too. After you melt down his most prized golf clubs of course!

Oh, and one more thing. Next time a police officer wants to pull me over and ask me questions. I'm just going to tell I will get back to them on that. At my earliest convenience. Yeah, that will work. Don't call me. I'll call you.

Does anyone have bail money I can borrow.?


Scoop Murphy said...

I'll come bail you out.

sparkly said...

Bah ha ha ha ha! Brilliant!

And you've "hit" the nail right on the head, I believe: If you want to play the field *ahem*, don't get married!!!

I'm spreading this around (the photo).


Judi said...

Alright Eileen.....we need the story about the police pulling you over....don't just wet our appetites! Spill it sister....
As for Tiger....I'm waiting on the story to come out that he has a sex addiction.
Who doesn't have a sex addiction?
Raise your hand.
Ah, yes, Friday night a few glasses of wine and I can get so smart and sassy....!
As for bailing you me and I'll be there!
Tramps like us...!
P.S. Make sure to call me before I start drinking wine or else I'll have to ask you to move over cause I'll be joining you....
You know what they say about friends...
A friend will bail you out
But a good friend will be sitting next to you saying "we had a hell of a good time"....

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