Tuesday, November 20, 2007
OK, I am a bad parent. I admit it. You want to know why I think I am a bad parent?
Oh dear, I don’t think I can admit it. It’s hard to admit to these things. Ya know, when you see it in print. It sort of becomes permanent. Like affirming what you know in your heart is true.
Sigh, The reason I think I failed my children you might ask? I let them watch Sesame street. Jesus, Mary and Joseph and all the Saints, there, I said it. I thought I was doing the right thing, but you just never know.
I just read an article in today’s New York Times announcing the release of Season one of Sesame street.
Here’s the part that gets me. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN. Plllleeeeaaaasssseeee. Who are these people? Really, I want to know. How are you?
When asked why it was not appropriate for today’s toddlers, here’s the answer:
“Alistair Cookie and the parody “Monsterpiece Theater.” Alistair Cookie, played by Cookie Monster, used to appear with a pipe, which he later gobbled. According to Parente, “That modeled the wrong behavior” — smoking, eating pipes — “so we reshot those scenes without the pipe, and then we dropped the parody altogether.”
Devin and I were talking the other day. The conversation went something like this:
Mom: Devin why on earth would you start smoking? Was it peer pressure?
Devin: Well mom, now that you mentioned it. It was TV. I wanted to smoke ever since I say Cookie monster smoking that pipe on Sesame Street when I was 2.
Then there is this issue:
Back then — as on the very first episode, which aired on PBS Nov. 10, 1969 — a pretty, lonely girl like Sally might find herself befriended by an older male stranger who held her hand and took her home. Granted, Gordon just wanted Sally to meet his wife and have some milk and cookies, but . . . well, he could have wanted anything. As it was, he fed her milk and cookies. The milk looks dangerously whole.
Geeze, I remember when there was a rash of little girls missing because some big black guy wanted to take them “Home” to meet the family. When asked why he did it.
You guessed it "Sesame Street".
Come to think of it, they might be responsible for everything every person did wrong that was born after 1969.
A good defense lawyer might try that. Your Honor, my client begs for the mercy of the court. Having grown up watching Sesame Street, he thought the man he murdered was snaufalafagus, and thefore not real to anyone but himself. Ah, too bad Johnny Cochran is dead.
What has this word come to folks?
Along the same lines, I have a friend who is pregnant. I was going to pick up lunch.
I asked her what she wanted, a sandwich maybe? No, was her answer. Dr. told me I'm not allowed to eat lunch meat. Causes birth defects. How about a tuna sandwich? No, not allowed that either. The whole mercury thing. Hot Dog, sorry not allowed that either, causes birth defects. OK, skip lunch, how about a soda. No, too much sugar. Would you like a glass of water I ask? No can't do that either. Not allowed tap water.
I can't believe millions and millions of babies were born to someone who ate hotdogs while watching Sesame Street and guess what?
THEY LIVED TO TELL THE TALE!!!
HOW DID WE ALL SURVIVE?????
Let's get some common sense people. Put the nuts who study these things out of a job and just have some common sense.
Be a parent to your child, but let them be a child who learns from their mistakes. Enjoy your pregnancy, you are not going to harm the kid for life if you stop by the "Dirty O" a few times.
OK, so maybe I'm not the best example.
Have a happy Thankgiving all. I'm sure I won't be short of topics to write about next week after spending the weekend with my family.
Where to go next Thursday? Lets try somewhere new.
Give me some ideas.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
OK, enough of the goody-two shoes shit. Be forewarned,the gloves are off people.
Things have been pissing me off. Nothing big, just a bunch of little shit.
So I think I'll just list them.
(No particular order of importance, just random bitches)
1. Joggers who run toward you and your dog. What are these people thinking. Ya know, Smokey already nailed one of them. I feel like letting him loose to rid us of the rest of them. Joggers, is that brain jiggling in your head and not working. When a jogger comes up behind me, instinct tells Smokey to protect me. I try to stop and tighten his leash when I hear someone coming up behind me. NEVER RUN TOWARD A DOG ON A NARROW SIDEWALK, GOOF.
2. People who come up on their bikes along side me and scare the shit out of me.
I figured out a way to piss them off though, I'll keep that to myself.......
As my late, great cousin Tootsie would say, "Buy a car, cheap-ass"
3. Students who move into my neighborhood and can't parallel park. They end up taking two spots. Cardinal Rule of living in the city, Never take up two parking spaces. Move back to the suburbs with mommy and daddy or learn how to park.
4. I'll already covered extensively Breuger's on S. Aiken, we all know how I feel about that.
5. People in long check-out lines who wait until all the bags are packed up and ready to go, then they search their purse for debit card or check book. ARGGGGGG!!!
6. Restaurants who give me a hard time ordering Grilled Cheese. (Union Grill, Docs, just to name a few. Again, covered this topic in past posts.
7. People who put their kids on their answering machines. You think your kid is a genius. He isn't. It isn't cute, it's annoying. As my mother was fond of saying
"With all the genius kids out there, you have to wonder, where did all the dumb adults come from?"
8. While I'm on the subject, people who think it's their right to bring their children everywhere they go. Esp. dentists office. How, pray tell, do you think you can get dental work done on ones teeth with a 6 month old on your lap. Get the damn father to watch the kids once in a while will ya. We act like we care about how big your children are getting. We see you twice a year. You are patients, not friends (well most of you, if you're my friend, I do care)Most of the time we are just making small talk. We don't actually want to see your kids.
True story. A woman came into the office with three kids the other day. They upset the whole place. Running around, never once being corrected. Someone said to her, "I don't know how you do it". I said loud enough, SHE DOESN'T. She let them run around like monkeys. The two older ones were wrapping dental floss around the baby's neck, I swear. If you have kids, their your responsibility, not mine. Fuck that "It takes a village shit".
9. My kids
10. My kids.
11. Have I mentioned my kids are really, really pissing me off. I've asked Devin, why did he choose a college you can see from our front porch. Couldn't he have found one at least a few miles away, for Christ sake.
12. Danny, a whole other post. He is doing really well in his Anger Management classes, as he's been reminding me. He's saving the handout's for me. What's that they say, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree"?
13. Geeze, I almost forgot the biggest thing that pisses me off. When husbands drop dead in your kitchen after 20 year of marriage. And when they were the only person who would put up with all you and all your craziness, but loved you anyway. And you never even thought of not spending the rest of your life with that man. Not to mention being left alone with two kids.
Yeah, that REALLY pisses me off.
14. The nuts you meet after above husband drops dead......
I'll be letting off some steam at Mardi Gras' on Thursday drinking Bro-hito's.
I'm also going to see Bruce Springstein tomorrow. That DOES NOT make me angry. I am taking my kids with me. I guess I've come full circle. I still cry at Bruce concerts. It is the only time I miss being young. I grew up with Bruce's music. First seeing him in 1973 at St Vincent's college with only 200 people in the audience. I was hooked. I think they will enjoy the concert.
I used to play Bruce really, really loud when I cleaned the house years ago when the kids were little. They used to say "Mom, turn the music down". Boy I should have recorded that phrase. Now the tables are turned.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Last week I mentioned in my post about Notre Dame a friend and coworker who played on Navy's football team
Funny thing, today as I was reading today's paper, I came across this article about him.
Take a minute to read it. He is truly an amazing person. He's a person who actually does things to make this world a better place. Not just talk about it.
And just by being in his presence, you want to be a better person.
Can't think of anyone else who I have NEVER said a bad word about.
This story is just the tip of the iceberg. He has many more that are just as inspiring.
Needless to say, he also travels around the country giving motivational speeches.
I'm sure we'll all be motivational speakers after a few of Jimmy Brose' Mojita's on Thursday!!!
On a lighter note, Click on box to right and the whole post changes to Jive talk while this post isn't the most appropriate to try it on, it's still pretty funny.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Three of these things belong together
Three of these things are kind of the same
Can you guess which one of these doesn't belong here?
Now it's time to play our game (time to play our game).
Just like the Sesame Street Song says, now it's time to play our game.
I took this picture while attending the Monday night Steelers game.
Can you guess what doesn't belong.
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
IT'S THE GIRL ON THE SIDELINES WITH AN UMBRELLA!
Do you see anyone else in the whole place with an umbrella?
I wish Joe Green would have come out and kicked her ass right off the field.
All's I could think of when I saw her was Tom Hanks in the movie "A League of thier Own". The scene when one of the players starts to cry, Jimmy Dugan exclaims, "There's no crying! There's no crying in baseball!"
Umbrellas, There's no umbrella's in Football
Talk about giving girls a bad rap.
Come on' people, someone should have told her where to put her umbrella.
Seriously, Miss "I am a serious sports reporter, just don't mess up my hair". Sissy la-la girls should stick to fashion reporting.
If you can't run with the big dogs (and get your hair wet), stay on the porch with the puppy's!
Did you guess which thing was not like the others?
Did you guess which thing just doesn't belong?
If you guessed sissy with the umbrella,
Then you're absolutely...right!
Oh well, I guess boy's like that sort of thing. Otherwise she'd be out of a job.
See you all tomorrow: Squirrel Hill Cafe. 8:00.
We are celebrating Otis' Birthday.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
I HATE NOTRE DAME!!!!!
There, I said it. I've just finished watching Navy-Notre Dame game. 3 OT and Navy finally wins. Ending a 43 year winning streak for the Fighting Irish.
I love it, ESPN says "Even Navy has Notre Dame's number".
It's about time.
The last time Navy beat Notre Dame, Roger Staubach was quarterback, and a former co-worker of mine,Bruce Bickel played for the team. Bruce is probably one of the few truly good people I have met in my life.He's one of the few people in this world who, just by being in their presence makes you want to be a better person. He got quite an education when his office was behind Erin and me. He had many great stories to tell.
I digress, back to the reason the this post.
I HATE NOTRE DAME, and have ever since I can remember.
I know, I know, How can a nice Irish girl like me hate Notre Dame.
I honestly don't know. I've just always hated Notre Dame and all their cockiness.
I remember going there in 1980. It was freshman orientation. I had graduated from Mercyhurst. Ski and I were just cutting through on our way to Chicago.
I don't know what I expected, but I just remember thinking,"What's so great about this?" (Ok besides getting a good education)
As far as looks, I think my good ol' Mercyhurst is prettier.
When I think of Notre Dame, I think of the same Macho-ism that I hated about Central boys.
Oh well, they have been getting their butts kicked all over the place this year and I love every minute of it.
Yeah, I HATE NOTRE DAME.
(Except for Kevin, of course, he doesn't quite fit the mold, we won't mention this blog post to him, OK)
On the other hand, I love the Navel Academy. It's beautiful. It's a little macho, but in a different chivalrous kind of way.
Spent alot of time there in the 70's and early 80's. Even went to a commencement in 1981. It was unbelievable. We used to go the the Army-Navy games in Philly. Great fun.
Oh well. don't know why I felt the need to express this, figured I would while I was on a roll.
On a different note, but still football related. I am going to Monday's Steeler's game.
This is a funny story. (Aren't they all) My friend gave me the tickets. Turns out they are Joe Green's tickets. He is not using them because they are celebrating the 75th Anniversary team and they all have to sit together. So he gave them to my friend, who in turn gave them to me. 10th row, 50 yard line.
Just another example of how crazy life is. Headlines "Dumb girl from Lawrenceville lands Joe Green's season tickets"
Gee, Thanks Mean Joe.
All in all not a bad football day for me.
Pitt wins, BC loses, ND loses. Navy wins.If only Penn State would have lost, oh well, can't have it all.
Coming Attractions: Brose is ready to make us Mojita's again. Thursday, 11/15.
Mark your calendars.
We have to think of somewhere to go this Thursday. Rolands in the strip or Squirrel Hill Cafe?