Sunday, February 25, 2007

Francine, Chairman of the Board

Here's the thing.........don't get me wrong, I like being the Mayor of anger management and all, and I have a feeling the name is stuck with me and it's never going to go away, sort of like when we always try to change the name of anger management to something not so angry, we have great ideas after a "few" drinks. By the next week, we just go back to calling ourselves the AMG's. It's how people identify with us and we are becoming infamous about town.
Anyway, last night around 3:30 AM at Richard's Birthday party, I was being introduced to someone as "The Mayor". We got into the whole above-mentioned conversation.
Someone in a drunken slur comented that I was like the "Chairman of the Board" of the AMG's (remember it was 3:30 AM). I liked that. Hey, I can be the "Frank Sinatra" of our little group.
Francine was born. I could get into being Francine. So, I am changing my name from here on in to "Francine".
I feel like I should be smoking a cigarette.
Francine, Chairman of the Anger Management Girls". Whadaya think??????
Hopefully I can at least be Francine until next Thursday, when we run into someone, who asks why we are the AMG's bla, bla, bla, and I will again be "The Mayor"
Speaking of next Thursday.
I think Mullaney's Harp and Fiddle for the Animal Friends thing will be fun. I have heard Guananteed Irish and they are really good.
I know this will be hard girls, but just double click on the previous post for info on next week.(It will make it bigger and easier to read)
"The Season" is soon upon us, this will get some of us colleen's in the mode.
It will also help to keep me in my self imposed exile from that damn Mardi Gras. NO MORE.
Francine is not going to hang out at Mardi Gras ever again. I think I've made enough scene's in my short time hanging out there for my lifetime, thank you.
If you can't make it early at Mullaney's I have a feeling we will be there for the whole evening, so show up whenever you can.
See you all soon

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Update: As goes the story of my life--My trip to New York has been canceled. No staying as the Waldorf for me. Not this week anyway. Got me thinking.
I will be around this week for Anger Management. And since I won't be paying $22.00 for a cosmo,I'll have some extra money.
I am in a deep funk that I can't get out of, God I really, really hate February.,Esp. this one. Luckily it is coming to an end and the "High Holidays" are approaching. (Which brings me into a different kind of funk, oh well, isn’t it always something???????????
Anyone want to go somewhere nice this Thursday for Anger Management? Maybe in town for happy hour or something. Maybe we can pretend we are at the Waldorf. It always makes me feel better. I just need to feel better and start getting my life back on track, was really looking forward to this trip to NY.
I guess I should count my blessings though, the friend I was going with is back in the hospital battling a crazy, life-threatening disease, which is why we are canceling.. Whenever I get goofy and feel sorry for myself, I need to stop, stop, stop.......... and count my blessings.
Anyone have any ideas? Post them on the comments section and we can decide between all of us.
One of these weeks I will bring a laptop to Anger Management and have lessons on how to do this blogging thing.
It's pretty funny. Instead of putting comments on blog, you all e-mail me separately and I have to forward all. Mrs. Depp is the only one who has "The Knack".
Maybe we can have a guest speaker, someone who actually knows what they are doing, and not just winging it like I am. I just press buttons until something works. Sort of like how I learned to use the computer.
No joke......I actually talked myself into my job at PNC after being lunch, snack and homeroom mother for 15 years, I had to interview with about 15 people. I basically just told a bunch of BS, as they did me. By the 16th person, and hearing the same questions the 16th time. I decided to go for it. What did I have to loose? I didn't know it at the time, but the last was the head of the Department I was going to work for, head honcho. He asked me the same lame questions. I stopped him half way through and said something like this:
"Look, I am old, my degrees are pretty much worthless by now because the working world has changed so much since the last time I was in it.(Which was when Ronald Regan was in his first term as president), I have been home with kids for 15 plus years. My kids are now grown, so I won't have to call off for a lack of a babysitter, I am too old to party all night, so I won't call off for being hung over (All right, It was before Dan died and I went out about twice a year), I am alot smarter than the 15 previous people who interviewed me, so if they can do this, I think I am smart enough to figure it out.. I said a few other things I can't remember. But you guys get the gist of it.He looked at me at laughed, said he never had an interview go quite like that and he offered me the job. I started the following Monday.
Sorry, I rambled on there. Anyway, point of story, I went to dinner last week with old boss and he reminded me of the first day on the job . They showed me my desk with a nice new computer, got the tour of floor,got reintroduced to all that interviewed me. I sat at my new desk, after everyone left. I went out and found one of the Temps (Too embarrassed to ask anyone else, thought Temp would be gone in a week anyways, who cares what he thought of me). Brought him back to my new desk with the brand new computer and whispered "How in the hell do you turn this thing on?"
Took a while, but again, kept pressing buttons until something worked.
Moral of story, If I can learn this whole thing, so can you all because you're much smarter and computer literate than me.
So one of these week we will have blogging lessons.
You know what the hardest part of returning to the working world? THE PHONE, you needed an MBA to figure out the phone system.
Press 1 for your regular greeting.
To save, press #, to rerecord, press *, emergency greeting press......, retrieve messages, press 1024, to retrieve deleted messages, enter code,enter out of office code....enter computer code, enter.....enter......enter......Geeze, last time I worked for a living, they had rotary phones and a hold button. I kid you not,
Look how far I've come. Ms. Pussy Katz can attest to all the swearing while attempting to teach myself excel. That has not changed.
Oh well, I have really gotten off my point, sorry. Think of somewhere fun for Thursday,
The Mayor

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Things that made me angry....... today

Hopefully my day is going to get better. Here's a preview so far.
Woke up approx. 10:00 AM , which is early for me. Which usually means boring Friday night.
Going to a pot luck dinner tonight, so I'm thinking, since this is one of the few Sat. mornings that I didn't sleep through, I will head over to Trader Joe's, get stuff to make the pasta that I am going to take with me tonight, after that I will go to Brueggers and get a bagel and a paper, come home, put fire place on, read paper, have my cup of Earl Grey tea, eat my bagel and by that time I will be back on pace with my usual Saturday morning, er afternoons.
Easier said than done.
Got in the TRUCK, yes still driving that God awful truck and headed over to Trader Joe's. Why do the people that shop there and places like Whole Foods feel the need to make food shopping a family event. Young kids running amok everywhere without a parent in sight. If, when I was a child, one of us acted even remotely like these little brats. My mother would have dragged me out by my hair.
My mother never laid a hand on me her entire life......she never had to, all us kids needed to see was "The look"
I heard a kid screaming his at the top of his lungs. His father, not the least bit embarrassed by this (which I would have been) was telling everyone he is learning his need to express himself. Can you believe it? He went on to tell everyone in line that he also refuses to wear a coat.
You all know me by now. I couldn't take it anymore. I rolled my eyes as if to say pleasssssse.
He's is barely three years old. Raising kids is not a democracy, its a dictatorship. There shouldn't be discussions about things like wearing a coat when it's 10 degrees. Tell the kid he's not going anywhere until he stops screaming and puts on a coat. You're the adult, he's not. End of story. Leave the kid home with one parent, while the other goes shopping for all things organic (ha ha Pussy Kats) And we will all be happier shoppers.
I'm sure we have all, at one time or another ,gotten our heels plowed into by those annoying little kids at Whole foods who drive the miniature carts with one apple in it. Thier parents think that is so cute. I do not, it hurts.
As my late great mother was fond of saying "With all the genius kids out there, you have to wonder, where all the stupid ass adults came from." You might think your kids are the smartest, most beautiful kids around, I do not. There isn't enough room at Harvard for all the Angelina and Brads"
Enough of that.
On the way over to Bruegger's I run into Mrs. Depp and we discuss this in detail. Sorry if this is a little repetitious Mrs. Depp.
Head over to Bruggers for the bagel. I pull into that lot beside it, where all the over 40 ladies get their botox. Couldn't find a place to park among all the Lexus SUV's, so I just pulled over to the far right and ran in. When I come out about 4 minutes later, this women is in front of me (OK, so we were both parked illegally) She won't move. She wants me to turn around in that little lot in my big ass truck. I got out of my truck, we all know what happens when I get this far. All she had to do was go out the side and re-enter the parking lot, which by this time had a few legal spaces. I told her I just got my driver license and if she wanted to take the chance, I really didn't care if my big old ass truck hit her SUV. Needless to say, she went around the block.
So, that brings me to Noon. I'm home now. Fired up the fireplace, turned on the cooking shows on that radical QED. The Italian lady with the bad wig annoys me a little, but other than that, I've returned to my usual happy, non-judgemental self. I think from now on, I am just going to sleep through Saturday usual.
Sorry, one more thing that makes me angry, I cannot write, as Pussy Kats often reminds me. I wish I would have paid more attention to Sr. Angela in writing classes in grammar school. God, where is my red"Warners Book on Grammar" when I need it. I love to write, but can't. I'm like a biker without a bike, or a race car driver without a car.
As Judge Judy, Ms. Tiny Tumor, Mrs. Depp and me, the Mayor can attest to, last week's Anger Management sure was strange. Maybe we should start a men's division. Fun, but strange.

As for this week. Sorry girls and boys, but I will be in New York City, staying in a suite at the lovely Waldorf Astoria. I will not be stalking Brad and Angelina this time, (At least I don't think, unless we travel in same circles....)
Maybe Deputy Mayors Mrs. Depp or Through the Tubes can take over for me this week.
I will think of you all while having a scrumptious dinner at my favorite restaurant in Little Italy
I will not be angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One more thing.........You want to know what makes me really, really angry. Trying to get the picture of the Waldorf off the top of this post and down to the bottom, where I mention that I am going to NY.
I just spent 1 hour trying to move that God Damn Picture. Not lying. I didn't want it next to the great picture of the kid whom I'm sure was at Trader Joe's today..... I must have something better to do. Don't I???????????

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Anger Management at Le Mardi Gras

Would someone please tell the people of Shadyside that they don't have to keep that Dentist appointment if there is a blizzard outside. Don't have time to rant tonight, we are crazy busy. Geeze, I wish these people would just go home and shovel their sidewalks or something. They have a snow day for God's sake, stay home and watch a movie or clean your house.
Well, I guess I had a little time to rant.
Don't even get me started on last week bowling escapade.........more on that another time.
Mrs. Depp asks that we just meet at Le Mardi Gras this week. She will be busy with her father and it is a whole lot easier for her to meet us there.
So there you have it. Tomorrow at Gras around 8:00.
I'm sure everyone has a little cabin fever from being in all week (unless you had a dentist appt.) so come thirsty.
Mrs. Depp and the Mayor braved the ice and cold Tuesday for a mini mid-week anger management session. Had a little too much fun thinking I, too would be off today like the rest of the city, but no, not me. Had to be here 12 hours today so the nuts could get that all important root canal. Needless to say, I'm am on my way home now and off to bed to be ready for tomorrow.
See you all then.
The Mayor

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Anger Management Bowling

Shine up those old bowling shoes and dust off that ball. We will be meeting this Thursday at 8:00 at the Upstairs Saloon in the Arsenal Bowling Lanes. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Arsenal Lanes is located at 44th and Butler Street in Lawrenceville. The bar is off to the left if you are entering on 44th street. Just ask the man where the "Anger Management Girls" are. We will begin bowling at 8:30, so try to be on time. If bowling isn't your thing, just stop by and have a drink to get a good laugh (Yes, the sight of some of us throwing a giant ball down a lane toward a bunch of white pins can be quite amusing I'm guessing) Also, I think it could be quite cathartic to put the faces of our ten most hated on those ten little pins. Just imagine you are knocking off the head of a hated boss, husband, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend.......the possibilities are endless.
We can vent alot of anger in them there little pins......
This is a co-ed event, so boys can come also.(At their own risk of course--only joking.) The more the merrier.
See you all tomorrow. Try to give me an approx. head count before 4:00 tomorrow.
If you are running late, You can find us on the lanes right beside the bar (Imagine that---wonder how they knew????)
Thursday, Feb. 8, 2007, Arsenal Lanes. 8:00

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Anger Management,Thursday, Feb. 1, 2007

No one can call us Anger Management Girls Sissy-la-las. Nope, no way,not after so many of us showed up during last weeks polar front. Among the adventuresome were Pussy Kats, Judge Judy and the Princess, Kaya, Ms. Tiny Tumor, Fancy Pants and Cup Cakes, Through the Tubes (Aka Cell phone whore), Mrs. Depp, and of course the Mayor.
I don't have time to go into great detail about the discussions of last week. Just one image keeps popping in my head. "Mr. Depp in Leopard Skin Pants" a la Rod Stewart. That just sums up the whole night. Needless to say, a good time was had by all.
Again, so happy we always seem to stop by Mardi Gras for just one last drink on the way home. Some day that few of us will learn responsibility.
I am carless again tonight, sorry to be so boring. Can we meet at Elbow Room? I should have the car issue resolved in a few weeks. Then we can venture out past Shadyside. God knows, I need a diversion.
Get your bowling shoes shined girls and boy, next Thursday we are meeting at Arsenal Lanes. 8:00.
Be forewarned.......Fancy Pants and Through the Tubes have the claws on. I need an approximate head count.
See you all tonight at Elbow Room around 8:00