Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Ladies And Gent's Laugh -In Looks At The News

Just a few short notes on some news items that caught my interest today. It would be funny if it weren't true!

1. Smoking in Projects

Newsweek Magazine had an article promoting aban on smoking in public housing.
Yes, I can picture it now:

Pittsburgh Housing Authority Policeman: Sorry Ma'am, I'm here to tell you that you have to move. (bang bang bang in background) Wait, get down lady, they are shooting each other down the hall.
Any way as I was saying lady, smoking is illegal here and you are going to have to evict the premises. Yes, you can take all that heroin with you. Just pack it up. But I have to confiscate the cigarettes.
Sorry, that's the rules.
So....Here come de' judge!"

2. Hillary Clinton, you could have "bet your sweet bippy" I would have never lost the respect I had for you if you would have just handled your husband's indiscretions a little like Jenny Sanford. My new hero!!

When asked about her husband's political future: "His career is not a concern of mine. He'll have to worry about that. I'm going to worry about my family and the character of my children."
"And that's the truth!."pppththththth.

Wait, I have an idea, make him resign and you fill out the remainder of his term. You are smarter than him anyway.

3. Soul mate????? Is this Sanford guy for fuckin' real? Can't even put down in public what I think of this douche bag!
Wouldn't you love to "Sock it to him?"
How typical another "Moral Republican" HA!

Plus..... I have two children and I can't even go to the ladies room without explaining to way too many people where I was.
This man is a Governor......He didn't think anyone would wonder where he was..... for four days?????

Again Governor Jenny Sanford is sounding pretty good to me.

So "Look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls!"

*I can't even get into the whole Michael Jackson thing. Good Lord!
Verrry Eeen-ter-es-ting

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Bless Me Father.......

What a nice day I had today. Well, so far anyway. Kids, you better not screw up the rest of my day OK?

For our 50th Birthday's Ski and I, aka Lucy and Ethel, went to Rome to see the Pope. I know,I know, it was not the "Real Polish Pope" as Ski calls JPII but a Pope none the less. It was a trip of a lifetime.

On the morning we were supposed to see the Pope we had to meet a man to get our tickets. The Diocese of Pittsburgh sent all the info that was needed for us to get an audience with the Pope, but they didn't give us the actual tickets for some reason. They just gave us a number to call. We called and and the man said he said he would meet us in St Peter's Square that morning. "How will we know who you are?" we asked. He said "you'll know."

So after a sleepless night with scenarios about all that could go wrong the next day going over and over in my head, Ski and I go to St. Peters. As we were wondering through the Square looking hopelessly around quickly we spotted him.

There he was this huge Teddy Bear of a man waving a Terrible Towel right smack in the middle of St. Peter's Square. Yes, we knew that was him. Turns out he is from Pittsburgh. He is the person who gives out the audience tickets for the Pope's blessings. When he sees a Pittsburgh address, he gets excited. Hence, Burger's get the best seats. WE HAD SEATS ON THE ALTER!!!

So we start talking and he tells us he's going to come with us to see the Pope. Poor thing, he got more than he bargained for. As I've mentioned here many times before, when Ski and I travel together (which is often) It's always an adventure. From Presidential Inauguration's to Audiences with the Pope and everything in between including hitch-hiking across the state one too many times back in the day.

Anyway, this man was a wealth of inside knowledge from knowing where the Pope was entering from, where to look. Which seats were the best. He was truly unbelievable. Plus, I think he got a kick out of us. Especially when The Pope asked us to hold up anything we wanted him to bless and I held up about 100 metals in this:

Yes, I had all my rosaries and metals stashed in a Crown Royal Wiskey Sack! He thought that was hysterical.

After,we went to lunch. He continued to give us tips on great local restaurants,etc. He was so nice to us. I wanted to give him something for his kindness. So I dug in my purple crown royal sack and pulled out a pair of tacky Steeler rosaries. Oh my God. He absolutely loved them. He couldn't wait to go back to show them to all the fellow seminarians from Pittsburgh. esp since they were blessed by the Pope. I hated to part with them, but I had a spare! (I guess they worked, we've won two superbowls since!) As an added bonus, his Terrible Towel he was waving also got blessed by the Pope. No need to thank us Ben.

Today Ski and I went to Fr. Nick Vascov's first mass as a Roman Catholic priest. He was ordained at St. Paul's Cathedral yesterday. The mass was at St. Bernadette's in Monroeville.

You know, you always hear the bad things about Catholic Priests. You also hear awful stories about the young kids of today. But let me tell you. This 24 year old man is truly all that's good about the catholic church and our young people!

God Bless you Father Nick. It was truly an honor to be in the congregation at your first mass and to get your blessing on the first day of your journey serving God. Hopefully it will be a long and rewarding one.

And please,keep those prayers coming. Lord knows I need them.

The Rome Ladies.

*Whew, will you look at that, I got through the whole post without one swear word. Fr. Nick's prayer's must be working already!

Late Edition: Lisa just sent me a link to a song I think goes beautifully with this post. Not to get all religious on you but what an appropriate song for today.
Just take a moment to listen.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Just Askin'

Went to Walmart last week and took this picture. Do this many handicapped people really shop at Walmart? Jesus, some of the handicap spaces are further away than regular spaces. And this is just in one direction. There are just as many in the other direction.

I find this weird. Does anyone else?

Maybe they should do a study. Does Walmart have a disproportionate number of handicap people who shop at their store? Or maybe they need all those handicap spaces to accommodate all the senior citizens who lost their life savings who now have to work at Walmart just to have money to eat.

Just askin'.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hey...... Where Did Everybody Go?

I love this sculpture. People in Pittsburgh either love it or hate it. I happen to love it.
It struck me funny that they took all the people off to repair the pole.
My first thought was "Hey, where did everybody go?"

If your wondering where all the Anger Management Girls are going to be tomorrow, we are headed to Cafe Sam. It's one our favorite places. If you've never been there, you should check it out. The food is great and reasonable. They have a great deck and we will be sitting on it drinking something frozen!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Send In The Clowns

So I'm watching some news show the other night and this crazy person comes on and I can't tell you one word of what she was talking about because I was obsessed with how crazy looking she was.

I think to myself "who the fuck is this nut."

I watched until the end when they said thank you to Jane Orie, Pennsylvania Majority Whip. Republican (DUH!) McCandless. And, get this she loves Sara Palin. Surprise, surprise!!

Good Lord Sweet Jesus, who elects these people? (I know, I know!)

And, of course she gets tips on her nails????? Seriously people, would you take any person seriously who had Christmas tree's on her nails????? I mean they are fine for Christmas week and stuff, but not on official State business for cryin' out loud! You are representing me, GET RID OF THE NAILS!

New rule: When you become an elected government official NO FAKE NAILS! AND NEVER, EVER should anyone, male or female be allowed to wear animal print in the Senate chambers.
And sweetie, do yourself a favor. Take a vacation from the plastic surgeon. Maybe that time would be better spent finding a new hair stylist!

And the Republicans wonder why they are in trouble??????Seriously, they don't know??? Come on' they really really don't know???? Look, they have this woman and Rush speaking for them. Pleeeeaaaassseeeee!

Seriously, I couldn't tell you what she was talking about I was fixed on her ugly yellow suit, crazy nails and bad botox.

My eyes hurt, I think I am going blind from all that bling!!!

*I wish I could have found a picture of her from the other night wearing the crazy suit and nails. Hilarious.

I think that dirty look she's shooting in the top picture is directed at me. Ya think?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Miracle On Ice Part II

June 12, 2009, Game seven of the Stanley Cup playoffs was the best game of hockey I've watched since Feb. 22, 1980. That night I was living in DC. We were going crazy, much like the rest of the city, as well as the country.

Monday, I plan on chasing Sydney Crosby down the Boulevard of the Allies, much the same way my friend Marilyn and I chased Jim Craig down Pennsylvania a mere 29 years ago. (This time, it will just take me a little longer!!!)

I'm sure 29 years from now, my kids will be talking about this year's Stanley Cup winners. THE PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Seventh Heaven

My cousin Tomasina has seven boys. SEVEN, I SAID SEVEN BOYS.
Look at the picture above. They are all hers. And I guess it's a sign of the times when I have to say, all from the same husband!
Tomasina is about six years younger than me so when we were kids at my Aunts house she was like a real live baby doll.....for The Madonna and Ginny Ann. I of course, wasn't allowed to play, but back to my point.
Years later Tomasina and I lived on the same street when our kids were small. The hell that was Private Mintwood. Cute little street, but I think you needed your discharge papers from St. Frances East Wing before they would let you buy a house there. Oh the stories I could tell about that street.

Anyway, a few more years later we were neighbors again when we both ended up on Sherrod Street.
By then my kids had grown and were in HS. She was still having babies.

Believe me, it was an adventure to live near them. I used to hide my key under a mat in the vestibule (I know, surprise, surprise) The kids found it and would let themselves into my house when no one was home.
How did I figure this out you ask? Well, when I went into my bathroom and every single thing was thrown down the laundry shoot, that was a big clue.

The Madonna was getting older and her husband was getting all sappy and sad that they didn't have more kids. It only took one trip to Tomasina's house. We were sitting at the dinning room table. A few of them walked right on top of the table and began shooting him in the head with nurf balls. Ted never brought up the subject again.

If any of you are worried about your teenage daughter getting pregnant. Take them to Tomasina's. It's worth the trip, you will sleep much better for it. Actually Tom, you could start your own business....Oakland Catholic could bring bus tours through your house. The boys certainly wouldn't complain! It's a win win situation for all involved!

Last year during the height of the election and all the Sara Palin stuff I called her on my way to the lake to tell her something funny I had heard. We trashed Sara Palin the whole way to the lake. Towards the end of the conversation I said to her, where are your boys? You have been talking to me over an hour and not one interruption. She wondered the same thing. It seems the older few were drawing on the youngest making him black. Yes, black permanent magic marker. Head to toe. She just yells and laughs.

When she found out she was having her sixth baby, she came down to meet us at the St. Patrick's day parade. Each kid had a sign. They were all in a line. WE....ARE....EXPECTING...ANOTHER......LEPRACHUN. Too cute.

Believe me.(I say this about the Madonna too)She will never die of a heart attack. Nothing bothers her. I think it takes a special person to have all those kids. And that she is.

When we first moved to Shadyside, I missed her like crazy because I didn't have her down the street to talk to when something was going wrong. After everyone was in bed I would just take a walk up a few doors and sit and bitch about the day. She always had a few still up and running around, suddenly my problems were forgotten with laughter. Now I only get to do that when we go on vacation together every year.

I often think about 60 years into the future when they all get together for holidays. Tomasina and Eric long gone. Those boys will have plenty of laughs on holidays just reminiscing about growing up. "How about the time mummy caught you......or how about when we used to sneak into Eileen's house?"

So in honor of my 10,000 hit (which she was a while ago-sorry)
Here's to my cousin Tomasina and her "Rug Rats". My hero! Think of her when your one or two children are crying and you're having a rough day. Think of that X 7! And as Harriet was fond of saying "That Kate plus eight bitch isn't fit to wipe her ass!"

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Honorable mention goes to her husband Eric. Works 25 jobs and still helps with all the kid and house stuff!

Psst.....while you are at church this Sunday, could you please remember her neighbors in your prayers. I'm sure by now if they saw one naked butt, they saw them all! Hopefully they have better sense than to hide a key where 7 boys can easily find it. Pine Richland will never be the same.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Speaking of Doctors.....

So Let me get this straight. A person thinks abortion is murder. That person then goes and murders the murderer.
Uh, yeah.........that makes sense.
Praise the Lord.............................pass ammunition.