Saturday, June 06, 2009
My cousin Tomasina has seven boys. SEVEN, I SAID SEVEN BOYS.
Look at the picture above. They are all hers. And I guess it's a sign of the times when I have to say, all from the same husband!
Tomasina is about six years younger than me so when we were kids at my Aunts house she was like a real live baby doll.....for The Madonna and Ginny Ann. I of course, wasn't allowed to play, but back to my point.
Years later Tomasina and I lived on the same street when our kids were small. The hell that was Private Mintwood. Cute little street, but I think you needed your discharge papers from St. Frances East Wing before they would let you buy a house there. Oh the stories I could tell about that street.
Anyway, a few more years later we were neighbors again when we both ended up on Sherrod Street.
By then my kids had grown and were in HS. She was still having babies.
Believe me, it was an adventure to live near them. I used to hide my key under a mat in the vestibule (I know, surprise, surprise) The kids found it and would let themselves into my house when no one was home.
How did I figure this out you ask? Well, when I went into my bathroom and every single thing was thrown down the laundry shoot, that was a big clue.
The Madonna was getting older and her husband was getting all sappy and sad that they didn't have more kids. It only took one trip to Tomasina's house. We were sitting at the dinning room table. A few of them walked right on top of the table and began shooting him in the head with nurf balls. Ted never brought up the subject again.
If any of you are worried about your teenage daughter getting pregnant. Take them to Tomasina's. It's worth the trip, you will sleep much better for it. Actually Tom, you could start your own business....Oakland Catholic could bring bus tours through your house. The boys certainly wouldn't complain! It's a win win situation for all involved!
Last year during the height of the election and all the Sara Palin stuff I called her on my way to the lake to tell her something funny I had heard. We trashed Sara Palin the whole way to the lake. Towards the end of the conversation I said to her, where are your boys? You have been talking to me over an hour and not one interruption. She wondered the same thing. It seems the older few were drawing on the youngest making him black. Yes, black permanent magic marker. Head to toe. She just yells and laughs.
When she found out she was having her sixth baby, she came down to meet us at the St. Patrick's day parade. Each kid had a sign. They were all in a line. WE....ARE....EXPECTING...ANOTHER......LEPRACHUN. Too cute.
Believe me.(I say this about the Madonna too)She will never die of a heart attack. Nothing bothers her. I think it takes a special person to have all those kids. And that she is.
When we first moved to Shadyside, I missed her like crazy because I didn't have her down the street to talk to when something was going wrong. After everyone was in bed I would just take a walk up a few doors and sit and bitch about the day. She always had a few still up and running around, suddenly my problems were forgotten with laughter. Now I only get to do that when we go on vacation together every year.
I often think about 60 years into the future when they all get together for holidays. Tomasina and Eric long gone. Those boys will have plenty of laughs on holidays just reminiscing about growing up. "How about the time mummy caught you......or how about when we used to sneak into Eileen's house?"
So in honor of my 10,000 hit (which she was a while ago-sorry)
Here's to my cousin Tomasina and her "Rug Rats". My hero! Think of her when your one or two children are crying and you're having a rough day. Think of that X 7! And as Harriet was fond of saying "That Kate plus eight bitch isn't fit to wipe her ass!"
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Honorable mention goes to her husband Eric. Works 25 jobs and still helps with all the kid and house stuff!
Psst.....while you are at church this Sunday, could you please remember her neighbors in your prayers. I'm sure by now if they saw one naked butt, they saw them all! Hopefully they have better sense than to hide a key where 7 boys can easily find it. Pine Richland will never be the same.