Wednesday, October 29, 2008

While Were On The Subject Of Empty Heads.....

While were on the subject of empty heads, I found athis great blog .Please check it daily because she is writing one post a day until the election.
I swear this woman is me. Maybe I have a split personality and this is my old woman alter ego. You think?
Na, her writing is grammatically correct. I bet she listened to her Sr. Angela in English class. Better yet,maybe she is Sister Angela?

My favorite part of the post:

Well imagine my shock and surprise today when I came across this little item. The latest polls show that only 55% of Americans think that Sarah Palin is not qualified to be President. 55%! FIFTY FIVE PERCENT! This about the woman whose best qualification for the job to date is that she can see Russia from her house. So what exactly does Sarah Palin have to do before the other 45% of this country is shocked enough to realize that she is a “whack job”? Please Lord don’t tell me she has to show her hoo-ha in public.

I want Helen to be an Anger Management Girl! She would so fit right in.

What If They Examine My Head And Find Nothing?

So a few months ago, as some of you may recall, I was hospitalized for a few days. They did tons and tons of tests and figured out that the blood sometimes has a hard time getting to my brain.
George (cousin #2), being the smart ass that he is, says that's because my mouth is always open and it can't get past that. Yeah, he's a smart ass.
Anyway, they have to do one more test tomorrow. I have been putting this test off for a while. It's not the test I'm worried about. It's what I have to do to get ready for the test. I cannot sleep the night before.
Which is now.
I am not allowed to sleep tonight. I have to stay awake using natural means. No caffeine. No drugs. Nothing.
I guess severe lack of sleep puts extreme stress on your brain. They want to see how my brain acts under severe stress.
I don't know why they have to put me through all this. Don't they know that the mere mention of the phrase "Vice President Palin" sends my brain in a tizzy?
So here I sit at 3:49 A.M. pretty damn delirious.
Let me just say that I am one of those people who has weird sleeping patterns. I get up sometimes at 3 or 4am and watch some tv or go on computer and then go back to sleep after a while. But when someone tells me I can't sleep. Well, let me just say I was ready to go to bed a 9:00 tonight.
So how am I passing the time?
I went food shopping around 10:00 tonight.
I figured I'll just cook all night and clean my kitchen.
At about 11:00 I put a turkey in the oven.
Yes, a turkey with stuffing to boot.
Made meatloaf.
Then make chicken with an orange glaze.
So far I burnt the meatloaf, the stuffing was a little burnt. And my kitchen is still a mess. Actually, it's a bigger mess now because I am too tired to clean up.

I did a few loads of laundry.

I'm fading fast.

I figured this would be the toughest part. 4:00 to 7:00 AM. And it is.

How about i just change the subject a little to keep my mind sharp( Yeah, like that would happen)

As I mentioned earlier, I went food shopping tonight. Do you know I paid 4.98 at Giant Eagle for aluminium foil? $4.98!!! It was a little roll. 75 feet. Geeze, I thought that was alot.

You know what's happening here don't you? I starting to babble. When I get tired or nervous, I babble on and on and on. Sorry.

Hmm, who knew the News started at 4:00 am. Certainly not me.

I'm a little tired to go on and on tonight. I am going to leave you with a blog I found that can rant about Winky for me. And she does it in much better English.

Margaret and Helen

Well it's now 5:20 AM. I am watching "Ryan's Hope" on the soap channel. It originally aired in 1976. It's fun if for nothing else than the clothes and the stupid story lines by today's standards.

Two and a half hours to go.

Think I'll make it?????

Were down to the wire people. Hopefully the Winky and Blinky show will be canceled one week from today! Dear Lord, I certainly hope so. For all our sakes.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the la la la la la la

God, I just love the fall. As I've written here before, it always reminds me of new beginnings. Pretty much every change I made in life with the exception of my kids was in the fall.
When I moved to DC it was in the fall. I can't believe it was 29 years ago. 29 years. I had my whole life in front of me. I remember my first paycheck. Going to Woodward and Lothrup and buying my first designer suit with the whole pay. It was a navy blue Sassoon suit. Boy, I thought I was hot shit. I wore than thing until it fell off my body.

I didn't know what life had in store for me yet. I was so ready for whatever it threw my way. I was thinking it would have thrown me something along the lines of the Mary Tyler Moore Show. Yeah, I was Mary......... For about five minutes.

Anyway--I'm just sitting here in my kitchen. Thinking what to write about this week. Then I remember my June Cleaver phase.
I have two dinners cooking on the stove. The fireplace is on. The dog is passed out in the middle of the floor and the kids are watching the original version of King Kong on TV. They have all the lights off and are laughing there butts off.

I just smiled to myself. I guess I already wrote it.

Sometimes parts of my old June Cleaver life come back to visit every once in a while. If only for a moment.Like a snap shot.Tonight was one of those nights. When I close my eyes, right now I can listen to the old movie coming from the other room. Smell dinner cooking on the stove. Hear my kids laughing. Maybe I can stretch it and pretend like we're just waiting for Dan to come home before we eat dinner. Because the only thing missing is his laughter mingled in with my kids.

Every once in a while my life doesn't seem as fucked up as it really is.
Then reality sets in.
It's fucked up.
It's then I realized I ended up Roseanne!

I think this article that I read today is responsible for this melancholy mood of mine.
Didn't every street have a lady like this. In my childhood it was Mrs. Siebert. In my childrens day it was Mrs. Krinsky and the two old ladies on private Mintwood that actually called me a Pig Shit Irish Bitch. (You think I would at least remembered their names after calling me such a thing)
So to all the Mrs. Sieberts, Mrs. Krinskys and "Wicked Witches of Sherrod St" out there. I only have one thing to say.

Reminds me of my favorite SPUDS song.HEY YOU GET THE HELL OUTTA MY YARD

Sunday, October 19, 2008

John McCain Debate Coach Finally Found!

Does anyone else think it's scary that the substance of the Republican Presidential Campaign is taken almost verbatim from a kooky comedy show over 40 years old.

Oh, wait a minute, McCain must think it's a fresh new idea. Wasn't this show popular during the years that he was a POW? You guys did hear that he was a POW, didn't you? I know, that's bad! On a Sunday yet.But I just can't help it.Remember I USED to be a Republican--so that mean, intolerant streak still shows itself from time to time!

Holy Obama Batman! I think the Democrats just might pull this off!

One last thing that is confusing to me. The Republicans and President Bush want to start taking over banks. Now, I have to admit, economics and banking are not my thing(you all have heard stories of my mishaps with money). But isn't that Socialism? Government running the banks?? Is that the ultimate in Socialism. The socialism that Republicans are warning us about if we vote for Obama?
Just askin'.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Joe the Plumber?????

JOE. THE. PLUMBER?????????????WTF???????????
Joe the effin' Plumber.
What's with the Republicans obsession with the Joe's?

Thank God this will be over soon. And hopefully Blinky will just have to settle for that statue of himself somewhere in Washington or Arizona. And Winky will be on a nonstop to Wallisa. Kids in tow.

The Madonna called about three minutes into this debate. Laughing hysterically. She brought up something that I forgot about years ago.

When Devin was about 7 or 8 years old we had to get a new gas pipe installed in front of our house. It kept my boys busy for days and days. They were in their glory watching the men from the gas company dig up our front sidewalk. Me, not so much.

After a few days my husband was sitting on our front porch. One of the worker's asked where his son "Joe" was. Dan said who? He said Joe, your son who's been watching us here all week. Dan told him we didn't have a son named Joe. Our son's names were Devin and Danny.
The man shrugged his shoulders saying that he told him his name was Joe.

So when Devin got home from school that day, we asked him if he knew why they would have thought his name was Joe. He looked up at Dan and said it was he who told them his name was Joe. He wanted to be Joe because Joe was a working man's name. And he wanted them to think he was a working man. Devin was not a working mans name, he informed his father.
My husband almost fell off his chair.
Devin was Joe the Working Man for quite a while. Not as long as Danny was Peter Venkman, but that's a whole other story.

A few weeks later we went to The Madonna's for Easter. Devin made friends with the kids across the street. He introduced himself as Joe the working man. But it didn't last long, especially when he realized that if your a working man, you actually have to work!

The following summer, we went back to DC and when one of the neighbors asked for Joe. Devin got all indignant. He said he is not Joe, he is Devin. And why are these kids calling him Joe. We laughed, asking him how the hell were they supposed to know. For months he was telling them his name was Joe and now he's suddenly Devin.

That's my Devin from Heaven. What a sweetheart.

This story has nothing to do with anything, I just thought it was funny. Just like this goofy reference to Joe the Plumber is funny and silly. I have a feeling Joe the Plumber won't help John McCain and his bid for the Presidency anymore than Joe the Working Man helped the guys in that hole in front of my house. Just be prepared. That poor plumber will be splattered over Fox News for the next three weeks.

I originally wanted to write this nice story about how October 16 is not only my birthday, but it's also my nephew Jeffrey Andrew David's (the rock star)birthday.
This is his 30th birthday. He was born on my 21st birthday. God,does that makes me old? It was also the same night John Paul II was made Pope. (Big day all around)
1978. Seems like lifetimes ago. I guess it was, now that I think about it.

I wrote a nice post last night about the night he was born. He was the best birthday present that I ever received. I was getting tired and my palm hit the wrong key and it erased everything.
So sorry Jeff, this isn't what I intended to write. Happy 30th Birthday sweet boy. You are finally older than Grammy! How can that be?

This is a picture of my birthday cake from the people at work. Can you believe them? Joanna had to convince them at the store that it wasn't a hoax and she will really pick the cake up.

Too Funny.
We will continue on with Birthday-Rama tonight.
And I am warning you all. NO PLUMBER JOKES. I already received two calls.
It's my Birthday. Be nice.

An afterthought: "Joe the Plumber" is making $250.000 a year? Really? As a regular plumber? Apparently he's single girls! Only one catch, you probably would have to move to Ohio. Ouch, Barb.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

So Sherri and I ventured to town Friday to show our displeasure with the selection of Sarah Palin(aka Winkey) as the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee.
Let me just wonder out loud, how do all those radicals do it? I mean, really, that shit is hard work.
Sherri picked me up at 2:45. We found our fellow protesters and walked around with our signs for a while. It was then that you could tell we were pure novices.
First, shoes. We wore totally wrong shoes. Sherri had boots with heels, that looked great with her cashmere sweater. But weren't very practical about forty minutes into it.
I had on my Hermes scarf. Totally wrong for demonstrating in the sun. I was getting hot under the collar and it's wasn't for the right reasons.
But hey, we looked great.

Plus, let me just say, those signs get heavy after a while. Ya know, you hold them up and you start hurting under the arms. Then your thumb and index finger start getting numb.
It was right about then that we started checking our watches and asking our fellow protesters (who happened to be dressed as polar bears)when these things end.

But all in all, it was fun. Some great signs. My favorite being "I don't need boobs, I already have two. I need health care."
Learned a few things too.
Important things, like never wear heals to a protest. And it's best to wear t-shirts. Preferably ones that have something about what you stand for on the front.

The most important thing I think I learned. Two things, one, check your sign for spelling. Especially if you are running really, really late and you count on your kids to do the rough draft.
Two, it helps if you put your sign on a stick. It makes it easier to hold up higher and isn't so rough on your arms and fingers.
After the "Straight Talk Express" (Ugh) passed we went to Sonoma Grill and had a much needed drink and took the load off on some much needed chairs.
Three and a half hours later, I ended my radical ways over some sushi, wine and a beer.
Bitching on this site is a hell of alot easier I tell ya.
But we did have a fun day.
Below are two short clips taken from my camera.

Get ready. Birthday-Rama officially starts tomorrow. Can you believe its been a whole year since the big 50 blow out? Geeze. I'm turning 51. I don't feel a day over 50.
More on that later.

Peace, baby!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

The Times They Are a-Changin' (I Hope!)

Protest at Sarah Palin's Visit/Fundraiser in Pittsburgh!
This Friday, October 10, 2008
Outside the Westin Convention Center
1000 Penn Avenue
Starts about 3:30 pm

Sarah Palin will be in Pittsburgh this Friday, October 10, for a fundraiser at the Westin Convention Center, 1000 Penn Avenue.
Last week, with only 5 hours notice, hundreds of protester's showed up in Philly. You can see the protest on video --
Let's see what we can do this time in Pittsburgh with a week's notice! The Palin event starts at 5:00 PM. Please plan to arrive at the site around 3:30 pm.
You can help. Spread the word. Then on Friday, bring a friend, bring a sign (if you can), and most of all, bring yourself to the event!
For more information, contact
Michael Morrill, Executive Director of Keystone Progress

Now I've never been one to be confused with the Angela Davis types of this world.
Quite the contrary. My Friends.
But you all know I'm pretty outraged with the whole Blinky and Winky show.
So I'm puttin' on my best Afro wig and heading to town.
But whatever will I put on my sign? (If I'm protesting, I have to have a sign)
Any ideas??????
I saw one from a protest in Philly that said "Irish Pubs Do Not Count as Foreign Policy Experience" If that were the case, I'd be Queen of the World.

Not to get off track, but I am watching the debates right now. Blinky just referred to Obama as "That one" when referencing something he said. Unbelievable.

If McCain says "My Friend" one more time I am going to puke.
Let's get one thing straight Blinky, you ARE NOT my friend. Never have been, never will be. You do not represent anything my family or me stand for. I do not trust a word you say. I think you are a liar. And you sold your soul to TRY to become President of the United States. And I pray every night that you are unsuccessful. I am tired of seeing your blinking, lying eyes every minute of every day on tv. You condescending, miserable old coot. You keep saying you know everything. You know nothing. Nothing about the needs of me and people like me. Especially the needs of the African American woman who asked you a question during this debate. You just showed what a classy guy you really are by ignoring Sen Obama's hand at the end of your charade. Blinky, you have some 'splain' to do.
So there. Hmmmph.........

Let me know who wants to join Sherri and me on Friday. And start the protest slogans comin'. Don't e-mail me. Put them in the comments section. It's not hard. I have faith that my AMG's can figure it out.

Make love not war, baby!

*Note: If any of you receive a collect call on Friday, please accept. It might be me calling for bail money.

Sorry, I just couldn't resist!

Monday, October 06, 2008

Winky and Blinky

So The Madonna called me from "Our Nation's Capital" while I was at jury duty today. She leaves me a message to call her as soon as I can. I go to the lounge area to return her call, wondering if something is wrong.
She's hysterically laughing. She proceeds to tell me the new name her local talk radio station has given to McCain/Palin.
Perfect. Genius. I love it.

I tend to think people that blink incessantly are not really telling me the whole truth. It just reminds me of a nervous twitch that people do when they lie.

And then there's Winky. I don't even have to comment further. Do I? I'm serious folks. What a kook! God, I wish my mother were alive. I would love to listen to her rip her apart as only she could do. That believe me, she would.

Irish Diplomacy: The ability to tell someone to "Go To Hell", and make them look forward to the trip.
That's what Harriet would do to little ol' Winky

Anyway, I looked up Winky and Blinky and found this

And how about the name? Three Dimwits. I nominate our current dimwit in office as Noddy.

Think about it. He's been sleeping through the last eight years. It seems so appropriate.
The Three Dimwits, Winky,Blinky and Noddy.
If our country wasn't in such a perilous state, it would be funny.

I didn't get picked for jury duty, by the way. Wonder why???????
Good night. (sorry, I lost steam in the middle of this post.)

Friday, October 03, 2008


I just wanted to give a "Shout Out" to all my blog readers.
To all you "Six Pack Sally's/Joe's, I am headed out of town and will not have access to my computer for the weekend. I just wanted to let you all know that you're going to have to wait for a few days for my commentary about last night.
But you betya, I'll have plenty to say at a later date.

Just one fast story before I go.

My favorite from last night began with Six Pack Sarah starting her statement with something to this effect:
"When I was speaking with Henry Kissinger about this............"
What the eff??????
Like she rings him up on a daily basis.

So I'm on the phone with "The Madonna" this morning while sitting in the Doctors office. (I'm sure all others were thrilled in the waiting room)We were going back and forth about what we thought about the debate. And I am telling her how funny I found that statement to be.
And I swear on Harriet's grave The Madonna said the following:
Actually I have spoken with Henry Kissinger a few times at work and I couldn't understand a word he said. I find it hard to believe she did either, because no one does."
Only the Madonna. I swear I could not make that up.
Only The Madonna.
If you guys think I have stories, you should hear some of hers.

Well folks, I have to get on the road, more about energy later!

OK, one more thing. Did she really wink? Did a serious contender for the office of Vice President WINK while in a SERIOUS DEBATE and give a SHOUT OUT to a third grade class? Could you imagine Dick Cheney giving a shout out to all his Homies at Ligioneer Country Club???? Either can I.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

The Russian(experts) Are Coming, The Russian (experts) Are Coming!

I can't even think of something to say. So I am just going to quote Sherry over at The Pittsburgh Woman's Blogging Society.
"This woman has a Journalism degree??????Maybe she should go back to Alaska and hunt for it."

She says to Katie in the clip that Alaska is not a foreign county. Listening to her, it certainly sounds like it, for cryin out loud!

No one could possible take this woman seriously. Could they???

This morning, they asked her about all the negative feedback she was getting from her interviews or lack thereof. Her response? America just isn't used to "Averege Joe Sixpack" representing them.
THANK GOD! There's a reason for that lady! I don't want an "Average American" representing me.
Please, can't we just get her to go back to Alaska? How about if we all take up a collection and get her an unlimited supply of lipstick and magazine subscriptions to "all" the new sources she reads and she can maybe babysit her new grandchild, (while her daughter is going to do whatever they do in Alaska after high school?) Maybe concentrate on her kids futures. Or try to prepare at least one of her children so that they can get into a college somewhere. She can go on play dates with her newborn son and talk foreign policies with all the other moms.
I can hear it now.
Sarah: Was that a plane overhead.
Mom #1: Yeah, wonder where it's headed.
Mom #2: It's headed west.
Sarah: I bet it's going to Russia. Isn't that west?
Mom #3: Boy you're smart. All that foreign policy experience sure paid off.
Sarah: I learned it in one of the hundreds and hundreds of magazines I read daily. I think it was the same issue of People that had me on the cover.Did my hair look OK?

Folks, if these people win, we are in serious trouble!
See you all tomorrow. We can watch Mensa do her stuff on the debates.