Saturday, February 17, 2007

Things that made me angry....... today



Hopefully my day is going to get better. Here's a preview so far.
Woke up approx. 10:00 AM , which is early for me. Which usually means boring Friday night.
Going to a pot luck dinner tonight, so I'm thinking, since this is one of the few Sat. mornings that I didn't sleep through, I will head over to Trader Joe's, get stuff to make the pasta that I am going to take with me tonight, after that I will go to Brueggers and get a bagel and a paper, come home, put fire place on, read paper, have my cup of Earl Grey tea, eat my bagel and by that time I will be back on pace with my usual Saturday morning, er afternoons.
Easier said than done.
Got in the TRUCK, yes still driving that God awful truck and headed over to Trader Joe's. Why do the people that shop there and places like Whole Foods feel the need to make food shopping a family event. Young kids running amok everywhere without a parent in sight. If, when I was a child, one of us acted even remotely like these little brats. My mother would have dragged me out by my hair.
My mother never laid a hand on me her entire life......she never had to, all us kids needed to see was "The look"
I heard a kid screaming his at the top of his lungs. His father, not the least bit embarrassed by this (which I would have been) was telling everyone he is learning his need to express himself. Can you believe it? He went on to tell everyone in line that he also refuses to wear a coat.
You all know me by now. I couldn't take it anymore. I rolled my eyes as if to say pleasssssse.
He's is barely three years old. Raising kids is not a democracy, its a dictatorship. There shouldn't be discussions about things like wearing a coat when it's 10 degrees. Tell the kid he's not going anywhere until he stops screaming and puts on a coat. You're the adult, he's not. End of story. Leave the kid home with one parent, while the other goes shopping for all things organic (ha ha Pussy Kats) And we will all be happier shoppers.
I'm sure we have all, at one time or another ,gotten our heels plowed into by those annoying little kids at Whole foods who drive the miniature carts with one apple in it. Thier parents think that is so cute. I do not, it hurts.
As my late great mother was fond of saying "With all the genius kids out there, you have to wonder, where all the stupid ass adults came from." You might think your kids are the smartest, most beautiful kids around, I do not. There isn't enough room at Harvard for all the Angelina and Brads"
Enough of that.
On the way over to Bruegger's I run into Mrs. Depp and we discuss this in detail. Sorry if this is a little repetitious Mrs. Depp.
Head over to Bruggers for the bagel. I pull into that lot beside it, where all the over 40 ladies get their botox. Couldn't find a place to park among all the Lexus SUV's, so I just pulled over to the far right and ran in. When I come out about 4 minutes later, this women is in front of me (OK, so we were both parked illegally) She won't move. She wants me to turn around in that little lot in my big ass truck. I got out of my truck, we all know what happens when I get this far. All she had to do was go out the side and re-enter the parking lot, which by this time had a few legal spaces. I told her I just got my driver license and if she wanted to take the chance, I really didn't care if my big old ass truck hit her SUV. Needless to say, she went around the block.
So, that brings me to Noon. I'm home now. Fired up the fireplace, turned on the cooking shows on that radical QED. The Italian lady with the bad wig annoys me a little, but other than that, I've returned to my usual happy, non-judgemental self. I think from now on, I am just going to sleep through Saturday mornings........as usual.
Sorry, one more thing that makes me angry, I cannot write, as Pussy Kats often reminds me. I wish I would have paid more attention to Sr. Angela in writing classes in grammar school. God, where is my red"Warners Book on Grammar" when I need it. I love to write, but can't. I'm like a biker without a bike, or a race car driver without a car.
As Judge Judy, Ms. Tiny Tumor, Mrs. Depp and me, the Mayor can attest to, last week's Anger Management sure was strange. Maybe we should start a men's division. Fun, but strange.

As for this week. Sorry girls and boys, but I will be in New York City, staying in a suite at the lovely Waldorf Astoria. I will not be stalking Brad and Angelina this time, (At least I don't think, unless we travel in same circles....)
Maybe Deputy Mayors Mrs. Depp or Through the Tubes can take over for me this week.
I will think of you all while having a scrumptious dinner at my favorite restaurant in Little Italy
I will not be angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One more thing.........You want to know what makes me really, really angry. Trying to get the picture of the Waldorf off the top of this post and down to the bottom, where I mention that I am going to NY.
I just spent 1 hour trying to move that God Damn Picture. Not lying. I didn't want it next to the great picture of the kid whom I'm sure was at Trader Joe's today..... I must have something better to do. Don't I???????????

5 comments:

Kaya said...

Hi. Have fun. I hear you on the shopping thing. I have developed a kind of shopping phobia as I age. My sister has it as well so maybe it is a hereditary, or learned, condition. I am still having a hard time recovering from this mono business. I seem to only be able to consume small amounts of beer. I was thinking that I might actually be able to go out on Thur. but who knows. Take care

Arsenal said...

i think you are a fab writer - i wanted to read about how your pasta turned out and just who you were having a pot luck with...always wanted to go to one or have one....which brings me to the age thing...is this something I should prepare to do...since I will be joining the 40 somethings in May????....which brings me to the reason why I was angry at about the same time as you this morning.....Jeff decides to become the Commissioner of Morningside Softball...as he is quite the joiner lately....attends a meeting last night...gets a phone call to confirm the first fund raiser....a "night at the races"...on MY Flippin' BIRTHDAY!! I planned to be at the Pirates v. Atlanta game at PNC Park - not at Gallagher Hall...betting pennies on ponies! Now what? Come to my birthday party...oh....and by the way...it will cost you. You have to buy a ticket...it will get you beer and buffet...but it will cost you again...gotta buy a horse or ten? Whine?...Wine?..Wine...yes!! I need wine so that I can drown in my rediculous self-pity and selfishness....guess I can spend my first full day of being 40 with the Buccos at the game on the 12th of May.....at least I will get a bobblehead.

maybe you can schedule anger management for that Friday in May instead of Thursday....I highly recommend Gallagher Hall - at least I could count on a good time with all of you!

alright...I feel better after writing to you. email therapy....we should market it!

enjoy NYC. I miss it.....we hope to go back someday soon!

p.s.

hope the bagel was delicious!

The Mayor said...

Ms. Arsenal,
I spent way too much time at Gallagher Hall than I care to admit. Don't worry, before you know it, they are grown and you end up like me, with not a thing in the world to do on a Saturday night.Like now.
Don't worry your Buco's are starting soon. Between that and Jeff, we better start planning the big 40 soon.......

The Mayor said...

Forgot, the pasta was great. Went to LUPS event in an old restored church on 39th street. Food was great and Tim and John played. I should have invited both of you. You would have liked it.

The Mayor said...

Kaya, you beter get well soon. We haven't had the old "One More" at the Gras for a few weeks. Is Mr. Kaya, still in the dog house?