Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Misc.Things that Piss me off

OK, enough of the goody-two shoes shit. Be forewarned,the gloves are off people.
Things have been pissing me off. Nothing big, just a bunch of little shit.
So I think I'll just list them.
(No particular order of importance, just random bitches)
1. Joggers who run toward you and your dog. What are these people thinking. Ya know, Smokey already nailed one of them. I feel like letting him loose to rid us of the rest of them. Joggers, is that brain jiggling in your head and not working. When a jogger comes up behind me, instinct tells Smokey to protect me. I try to stop and tighten his leash when I hear someone coming up behind me. NEVER RUN TOWARD A DOG ON A NARROW SIDEWALK, GOOF.
2. People who come up on their bikes along side me and scare the shit out of me.
I figured out a way to piss them off though, I'll keep that to myself.......
As my late, great cousin Tootsie would say, "Buy a car, cheap-ass"
3. Students who move into my neighborhood and can't parallel park. They end up taking two spots. Cardinal Rule of living in the city, Never take up two parking spaces. Move back to the suburbs with mommy and daddy or learn how to park.
4. I'll already covered extensively Breuger's on S. Aiken, we all know how I feel about that.
5. People in long check-out lines who wait until all the bags are packed up and ready to go, then they search their purse for debit card or check book. ARGGGGGG!!!
6. Restaurants who give me a hard time ordering Grilled Cheese. (Union Grill, Docs, just to name a few. Again, covered this topic in past posts.
7. People who put their kids on their answering machines. You think your kid is a genius. He isn't. It isn't cute, it's annoying. As my mother was fond of saying
"With all the genius kids out there, you have to wonder, where did all the dumb adults come from?"
8. While I'm on the subject, people who think it's their right to bring their children everywhere they go. Esp. dentists office. How, pray tell, do you think you can get dental work done on ones teeth with a 6 month old on your lap. Get the damn father to watch the kids once in a while will ya. We act like we care about how big your children are getting. We see you twice a year. You are patients, not friends (well most of you, if you're my friend, I do care)Most of the time we are just making small talk. We don't actually want to see your kids.
True story. A woman came into the office with three kids the other day. They upset the whole place. Running around, never once being corrected. Someone said to her, "I don't know how you do it". I said loud enough, SHE DOESN'T. She let them run around like monkeys. The two older ones were wrapping dental floss around the baby's neck, I swear. If you have kids, their your responsibility, not mine. Fuck that "It takes a village shit".
9. My kids
10. My kids.
11. Have I mentioned my kids are really, really pissing me off. I've asked Devin, why did he choose a college you can see from our front porch. Couldn't he have found one at least a few miles away, for Christ sake.
12. Danny, a whole other post. He is doing really well in his Anger Management classes, as he's been reminding me. He's saving the handout's for me. What's that they say, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree"?
13. Geeze, I almost forgot the biggest thing that pisses me off. When husbands drop dead in your kitchen after 20 year of marriage. And when they were the only person who would put up with all you and all your craziness, but loved you anyway. And you never even thought of not spending the rest of your life with that man. Not to mention being left alone with two kids.
Yeah, that REALLY pisses me off.
14. The nuts you meet after above husband drops dead......


I'll be letting off some steam at Mardi Gras' on Thursday drinking Bro-hito's.

I'm also going to see Bruce Springstein tomorrow. That DOES NOT make me angry. I am taking my kids with me. I guess I've come full circle. I still cry at Bruce concerts. It is the only time I miss being young. I grew up with Bruce's music. First seeing him in 1973 at St Vincent's college with only 200 people in the audience. I was hooked. I think they will enjoy the concert.
I used to play Bruce really, really loud when I cleaned the house years ago when the kids were little. They used to say "Mom, turn the music down". Boy I should have recorded that phrase. Now the tables are turned.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Drink more... It always seems to help!