Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Happy Days Are Here Again......

I'm happy.

Yes, I'm happy.

For the first time in a looooong time, well 7 years and 73 days to be exact, I look forward to the new day when I get out of bed in the morning.

I get up with a smile on my face. Ok, maybe not a smile. But definitely not the dreaded feeling of wondering how I'm going to make it through another day.

This may seem like a shock to some of you who think I am all fun and bubbly and my life is great. Yes, it may be surprising to some that for seven plus years I was in such a deep funk that it took every ounce of will power just to get out of bed and face another day of the disaster that my life had become. I won't bore you with the details. But it wasn't pretty.

For those of you who constantly tell me how lucky I am. The hair on your back would rise if I told you real stories of how un-lucky I am. And I am serious.
But that is over now. New beginnings. Right?

Anyway...........I was talking to my friend Erin (who needs to move back to Pittsburgh because I miss her and her baby like crazy!) We were talking and she said out of the blue, "You finally sound happy again." And I thought to myself, yeah, I do, don't I. Erin is one of the people who know my whole story. She's one of the few I can and did call in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep because I couldn't settle myself down enough to stop crying. She's my friend I would call and vent when person after person would tell me how "great" I was handling my husbands death. She knew I wasn't handling it, at all.

It's not that I don't have great friends who would have helped me in through ANYTHING. I do. But it's just that we all know how I feel about sissy-la-la's. People who whine all the time make me crazy. I didn't want to be one of those "woe is me" people. I would rather cry myself to sleep than be considered not strong. I know, I know. I'm fuckin' nuts. But I can't and will not be a sissy-la-la.

Well all of that is water under the bridge now. I can finally stay home. I can finally sit in my living room and watch TV for more than ten minutes. I can finally lay in bed and read a book. I can finally laugh with my kids.
I guess that's why I can finally "out" myself as a sissy la la. Hope I didn't burst any one's bubble!

This is so not where I wanted to take this blog post. I never know what these will turn into when I start typing.

Sigh, enough of this touchy feely shit. People will start spreading rumors that I am push-over. It's bad enough I turned into a far left Democrat for cryin out loud!

Let's see, what else pissed me off this week? (Don't worry, It's a happy pissed off and not a I'm ready to hit you in the face pissed off!)

Passive aggressive people really piss me off. It's the one personality trait that absolutely drives me crazy. If you know me, you know what my opinions are on just about everything. If you know me, you know if I like you or not in about five minutes. If you know me, and you don't like me, or like what I'm doing, tell me for cryin' out loud. It's not the end of the world. I'll live and so will you all. Just don't start that damn whining!!!!! Stand up for yourselves people. No one else will.

How about that scum bag Jesse James! Talk about sissy la la's. Boo Hoo, I was abused as a child so I had to go F#%@ every tattooed porn star west of the Mississippi.Jerk. Just once can't some cheating celebrity just keep their mouth shut and face it like a man/woman. Quit blaming someone/thing!!!!!!!! Just once. Sissy la la punk. I hope he gets diseases. (Sorry Sr. Susan!)

Previously I've told you about a blog I read called Callapitter. It's written by a mother whose two children were killed in a car accident. After reading what she goes through, that's one of the reasons I hate to talk about my own problems. They pale in comparison to this poor woman. She has been trying to get a playground built in their honor. Ginny over at That's Church explains it better than me. I like Doug Shields and usually agree with most of what he does. However, this is puzzling to me. Doug, WTF???? Residents of the Frick Park area, if you don't like noise, how come you live near a park??????????????????

One more thing, then I'm done bitching, I promise. How about the people who want the government out of their lives, ie Republicans. Yes, they want the big bad government to stay the hell out of everything. Until there's a problem. Then there all like "where the hell is Obama, he's not doing anything to help us. bla bla bla."
Just askin'

I guess I'm done bitching for now, I better go dig out the white shoes and linen for Monday.


Burgh Baby said...

I like this new happy you. :-)

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Anonymous said...

and please don't forget the white gloves and make sure that you polish your white shoes, because you know that Mummy really really hated dirty white shoes. "You'd think that they could at least polish their shoes.".....

Judi said...

Well, you did a good job in living like you were happy enough! You succeeded in allowing everyone to look at you and not throw pity parties. But, isn't that what we all do? Eh...well...most of us!
I'm happy to know you are in a happy place. Can you pinpoint the turning point? Isn't it funny how it just creeps up on us?
So, now what?
White shoes sounds like a good start!
BTW....the cookbook idea is definitely one that I have thought of. Someday. Someday. After I write my novel and clean my basement.
Blog on!
P.S. Yes, my hot sausage recipe is being used all over the Irish's the only one Kate and her whole family uses too!

Anonymous said...

AAAWWWW. I just read this. So glad you're happy again, and that I could bring it to our attention. Too bad I'm not there to celebrate!