Thursday, September 28, 2006

THIS ,MY FRIENDS, WAS SENT TO ME IN AN E-MAIL AND DOES NOT NEED ADDITIONAL COMMENTARY FROM ME...........

Dear Kotex:
>
> I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my
> party-liner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it.
> Annoying advice such as:
>
> Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
> Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and
> headaches.
> Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated
> and feeling fresh.
> Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...
>
> Obviously the individual behind this was someone who
> has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries.
> Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking
> 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh.
> Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from
> hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya...
> See what happens and report back. I'll wait.
>
> While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and
> remove the chocolate from the vending machine.
> I garan-friggen-tee that the first responders will be
> females who just ovulated.
>
> Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well
> guess what, the only activities that interests me is
> eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no apparent
> reason.. ...and oh...does ripping someone's head off
> count as a friggen' activity?????
>
> Look, females don't need or want tips for living on
> their feminine hygiene products.
> Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like
> that from elderly relatives.
> Veteran females have already concocted their own
> recipes for survival, many containing alcohol &
> barbiturates.
>
> Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the
> brand that was already purchased is just plain
> annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a
> girl running to the Always brand.
>
> It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by
> adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap
> to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a
> plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts
> discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and
> beer.
>
> There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding
> pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone
> in the store. Why don't ya just add an in-store
> microphone to the damn package & announce
> that...helloooo, another female in the store is on the
> rag!!!!!
>
> So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies &
> the smiley faces and shove them right up your ass.
>
> PS How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a
> shot of Bourbon to your packages instead?!

SEE YOU ALL TONIGHT -- LOT 17, LIBERTY AVENUE @8:00
>

No comments: