Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Bitch is Back!

OK, I think it's about time I rant a little. What do ya think. I've been a little too sappy lately. Sorry. I'll work on that. I promise.

So, while taking Smokey the guard dog on his evening stroll, I usually pass this monstrosity of a house. I pass this house every day. It's down the block from my house.
Can I just say that I HATE this house. It was a nice house before someone with bad taste bought it and renovated it. He must own his own construction company. (I'll tell you how I know this later)But he must be doing the whole thing by himself, and it's taking a long time. So every day I walk past and you can't help but notice what's new.

Can I just go on record to say right now it is the most God awful tackiest, ugliest house I have ever set eyes on.

It goes beyond tacky. It does not go with any of the architecture of the neighborhood. And I would be pissed if I lived in the cute little cottage house next door.

I was going to take a picture for you all from my cell phone, but that kind of stuff already got me into trouble on this blog. My luck, his daughter or someone is a regular reader. So you'll just have to take my word for it.

Anyway, it would be nice enough maybe in Italy or somewhere. But not right here in Shadyside.

And now he is putting in a big ass fountain. Right in front.......... Yes, he is!

Believe it or not, the ugly house is not my main gripe.

He put a double garage with a huge driveway in front of the house. The driveway plus the garage easily holds up to five cars. Easily.

He has this HUGE sign in his living room window (of all places) Don't block driveway, you will be towed.

Mind you, I walk past this house once maybe twice a day. I have seen people getting towed.

But you know what I see more than anything. Nothing. Nothing in the driveway.


He has his big ass Cadillac parked on the street in front of the house along with his work trucks also on the street.

And the driveway and garage are empty.

Empty. God forbid he'd get an oil mark on the driveway.

(Think his furniture is covered in plastic?)

So not only did the driveway take away three parking places on the street. His car and truck not using the driveway and garage took away three others. So now were minus 6.

It makes me crazy.

We all know parking is at a premium in Shadyside.

Especially when all of you suburban parents send your kids to college in the city with out teaching them how to parallel park. Then you have three cars taking up seven spaces.

I can't tell you how many I have stopped them in front of my house and told them flat out. "You cannot take up two parking spaces in front of my house. Let me teach you how not to do that".

That is a mortal sin living in the city. I, for one, don't appreciate walking through the streets of Shadyside late at night because I could not find a closer parking space because ten people were taking up 30 parking spaces.

No fun, no fun at all.

What was fun was last week's AMG. I think we should be allowed to bring our own waitress with us on Thursdays. What do you think?

I would call for a reservation and say party of 10. Well, 11 if you count our waitress.

Yes, we come with our own waitress.

I think that would be great.

No more sissy-la-la's to deal with.

If only.

See you all tomorrow for special Wednesday edition of AMG.

I have so much more to bitch about, but so little time! This will have to do for now.

1 comment:

Judi said...

Ahhh.....just got back from a lovely walk into Shadyside! Getting rid of some STRESS! Okay....so....I just told Angela that we are going to start an AMG South Hills Chapter. We might have to start out slow....maybe every other week. So, I'm thinking....you could start up chapters all around the city...and then go for all around the country.....then, the world. There could be conventions and maybe even a TV Show. Go on Oprah and stuff. Open a AMG Night Club. Give me a few drinks and I'll come up with even more ideas (this was all thought of during a very sober walk to and from Shadyside!).
Okay.....think of that beach drink, figure out how to send me the pix and have fun at your Wed AMG night! Honestly, you need to take your shoe on the road! Now, all we have to do is convince Angela and Kate to help me get this South Hills chapter started! We may be more stressed than angry on the South end of town, though.....
Thanks for being such a premiere blogger and blog poster!