Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Old Fool

This should be illegal. It really should. Joe Hardy should be in jail. What is her mother thinking? I hope they are not proud of her. What a fool this man is. I know some of you are saying she's laughing all the way to the bank. But really, all the money in the world couldn't get me to wake up next to this guy for the next few years. Yes, a few years, at most, is all these things last.They usually die off when Miss 20 something gets out of college and starts making her own money and doesn't need Mr. Old man's money anymore. Or in the case of the new Mrs. Hardy, steals enough money to get herself on easy street for the rest of her life.
Wonder what these fools who date younger women tell themselves. Better yet, wonder how they feel when the maitre d' at a Restaurant says to them Mr. So and So, you and your daughter's table is ready.
I don't know, given the chance when I was 22, maybe I would have went out with a man over 45, for beer money. That's about it. It's not the the saggy asses, that's for sure.
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with dating an older man, but at least wait until you're pushing 30.
30 is different. Woman are different at 30. A 30 year old with someone 40, 50, 60, 70, or 80 for that matter is her own business. But 20 year olds are kids for God's sake. And a man over 45 years old dating a 20 something should be in jail.

The following is my favorite essay from Andy Rooney, it says it all.

As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

An older women will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

An older women knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants from whom.
Few woman past the age of 50 give a damn what you think about her.

An older single woman usually has had her fill of "Meaningful relationships" and "commitment". The last thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!

Older woman are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera, or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness and are generous with praise, often undeserved.

An older women has the self-assurance to introduce you to her woman friends. A younger women with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't care less.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older women. They always know.

An older women looks good in red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one.

Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 50, there is a balding 50 year old man in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 23 year old waitress. (My personal favorite....)

Ladies, I apologize for all of us. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to appreciate the exquisite woman you've become, without distraction of some demanding old man clinging and whining his way into your serenity.

Signed: Andy Rooney

Think Andy is available? All's he needs is a little eyebrow trim.

See you all tomorrow. $2.00 beers.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Must be wierd to be dating or married to someone still eligible to be on her parents health insurance.........