Thursday, May 10, 2007

I'll have a grilled swiss cheese on rye please, please, please

Bobby: I'd like a plain omelet. No potatoes, tomatoes instead. A cup of coffee and wheat toast.
Waitress: No substitutions.
Bobby: What do you mean? You don't have any tomatoes?
Waitress: Only what's on the menu. You can have a number two — a plain omelet. It comes with cottage fries, and rolls.
Bobby: Yea, I know what it comes with, but it's not what I want.
Waitress: Well I'll come back when you make up your mind.
Bobby: Wait a minute, I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelet, no potatoes on the plate. A cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast.
Waitress: I'm sorry, we don't have any side orders of toast. I'll give you a English muffin or a coffee roll.
Bobby: What do you mean "you don't make side orders of toast"? You make sandwiches, don't you?
Waitress: Would you like to talk to the manager?
Bobby: You've got bread. And a toaster of some kind?
Waitress: I don't make the rules.
Bobby: OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
Waitress: A number two, chicken sal san. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.

Does this scene with Jack Nicholson from Five Easy Pieces remind anyone of something?

Docs, last Thursday:
Eileen: I want a grilled swiss cheese on Rye please, (OK, so I didn't say please)
Dumb Waitress: That's not on the menu.
Eileen: You have rye bread and swiss cheese don't you.
Dumb waitress: Yes
Eileen: So you can make a grilled swiss on rye.
Dumb Waitress: I don't know how I would write that on the check.
Eileen: How about this, You have Reuben's don't you.
Dumb waitress: Yes
Eileen: Just give me a Reuben sandwich and hold everything but the swiss cheese.
We all know what happened next.
After waiting for an hour and a half, no kidding. She brought out a grilled sauerkraut sandwich.(NO CHEESE ON IT)
I gave up.
Put Doc's on our list girls.
I have a tendency to be impatient with alot of people((I know, what a shocking revelation), waitresses and bartenders are usually not on that list. (I need their services too often) This girl couldn't possibly have been this stupid.
OK, I feel better now that I got that off my chest.
I didn't even feel the need to mention Joyce and the whole lost purse and car thing.
See you all tonight at Lot 17.

I will not be ordering grilled cheese.

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