Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Calgon, Take Me Away!

I’m not feeling it people. Today I’m just not feeling the love.
I need to get the hell outa Dodge.

Sigh, ok, now that that’s over. I am not in a good mood today. I know, I know, when am I? My last five years have been one constant bad mood. I hate this feeling.
Damn that husband had to go and die on me. If he wasn’t dead already, I could kill him.
Ok Dan, I can hear you say, "I told you so".
So there, now leave me alone.

I guess I should be in counseling.
The reason for this, you might ask?
Just about everything.
Much too much to list.
I get extremely angry over the dumbest things.
I know you all know this and put up with me anyhow.
I am truly blessed with lots and lots of friends who put up with me, despite the fact that all I do it bitch.
I will try to be nicer. Not too nice, mind you, just a little.A girl has to have some fun. Plus, no one would recognize that nice, quiet girl sitting in a corner minding her own business.

There are other reasons as well.
Two boys in their 20’s.
Someday folks, they are going to be the death of me.
My niece from Chicago came to see me for the Easter holiday as did my nephew (the rock star) from DC.
We had such a good time. I loved the activity in my house all weekend. Plus, since they missed Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh, Saturday, I cooked a Thanksgiving feast. Wow, it was great. My dad was also in town, so we had a really, really nice time.
Ok, the reason I am mad. Getting my house ready for overnight guests.
I am breaking my butt to get things in order. So I tell the kids they have to help me. Ok so far.
I ask "Who wants to do the bathroom?"
No answer.
Again, this time I tell one specifically.
Son #1, go upstairs and do the second floor bathroom.
I get a look.
Do I really have 10 heads?????
Do I?
I repeat.
His answer, plus comments from son #2 make me feel like I am having a heart attack.
They both politely tell me uh, they are NOT cleaning a bathroom.
I tell them who do they think they are? And who do they think cleans the bathroom? And why should anyone expect some other human being to clean up after him or her?
My heart is beating 1000 times a minute.
I don’t know what has come over me.
I am so angry, I get chest pains.
I scream things I probably shouldn’t say, but I honestly can’t help myself.
What I told them and what I know is true is that if their father were alive and they ever, ever said something like that to me, he would have put them through a wall.
I guess that’s the point, they would never have told me no. He wouldn’t have allowed it. And they wouldn’t have ever taken that chance.

If only, If only, If only.
(Famous last words, as my mother used to say!)

Me, when I yell, they basically roll their eyes.
I cry, they roll their eyes.
I almost have a nervous breakdown, I get a little attention.
Ok, they say, how about we do every other room, but the bathroom?
So I guess that’s a compromise I can live with.
They help me for about 20 minutes and they sneak out of the house.
By that time, I don’t care anymore.
The Valium is kicking in.

Thanks for listening, I feel much better now.
Yeah, I do. Really, I do.

Tomorrow we are going to unwind at Ryan’s Pub, 607 S. Braddock Ave. I think most of you know where it is. It is on the corner of Forbes and Braddock. Across the street from Frick Park.

Note: After thinking about this for a while, I think the real reason I am upset is because in our 20 years of marriage, I never had to clean the bathroom. Friday was Dan's cleaning day. He loved it. He would do all the floors and bathrooms. He also did all the ironing. One time I bought him a new iron for Christmas. He was really excited. He told everyone at work, and they looked at him like he was crazy.
Don't get me wrong. Life wasn't all good. We had some pretty tough times.
But looking back, they were nothing compared to this.

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