Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The Good Wife

My friend Noreen, who is a good wife, by the way, sent this to me.
It didn't copy quite as well as I wanted it to,so I'll just point out the most fitting ones. (With my commentary in italics as usual)
The Good Wife's Guide
  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking of him and are concerned about his needs. I'm thinking of him alright!!!
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up. Put a ribbon in your hair. Put a ribbon in my hair? Did they say put a ribbon in my hair? Yea, that'll work. When he stops laughing, I'll touch up that make-up. It sure needs it. Last time I wore make up was 1983 at my wedding.

  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. By being gay, you think they mean for you to have an affair with the housewife next door? His life certainly will be more interesting.

  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. I think this means make sure all the sex toys are put away from your afternoon rendezvous with the "good wife" next door.

  • Gather up all schoolbooks, paper, etc and them run a dustcloth over the tables. Kids, no time for reading, put those damn books away, your father is coming home. Tell the teacher you father wouldn't permit you to do homework. Go play in traffic for Christ's sake. You know whats important here folks, not the kids and their education. Funny, my mother used to use the word dustcloth all the time. She'd walk in and tell me I needed to run a dustcloth over my coffee table and tv. Uh, yeah, I listened to her. too.

You get the point, I'm just going to skip over the next few.

  • Listen to him. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Geeze Hillary, Bill's Monica stories are so much more important that what you are doing now.

  • Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Whew, at least he won't figure out I didn't come home all night either.

  • Have a cool drink ready for him when he does come home. Make sure to add the secret ingredient. Cyanide.

  • Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement. You have no right to question him. Does this mean I can't ask him when he mailed the alimony check?
  • A good wife always knows her place. WTF? My personal favorite, people. Yeah, I know my place alright. Right here in 2008. Girls, we would be so screwed if it were 1955.

This week lets try Gino's in Lawrenceville

Here goes, I am trying something new here girls. I am going to add a link to google maps in case some of you need directions.
So just double click on Geno's in Lawrenceville (above)and you should get directions. Type in your starting destination and it will tell you how to get there.
Hopefully see you all tomorrow around 8.
And Girls, remember to "ALWAYS" be the good wife.

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