I swear on my mother's grave the following is a true story. The names won't even be changed to protect the innocent......
I had the tables turned on me this past Thursday.
Being the lazy ass that I am, I decided on Thursday to go to a beauty shop and get my hair washed and blown dry. It's getting long and I just didn't feel like doing it. I know, I know, the height of laziness. Or I was thinking, maybe it's time for me to turn into one of those old ladies who goes to the hairdresser once a week. (like my mother, God rest her soul, or anyone else of her generation for that matter)
Anyway, I usually get my haircut at Jeffrey's in Lawrenceville and he is a little on the pricey side, so I thought I'll just go to one of those cheap places, after all, they are just washing and drying my hair.
So I walk into Supercuts on Highland Ave. My son had been there earlier in the day and his hair looked alright.
This young boy washed my hair. As he was blowdrying it, he was using a COMB. Yes, a comb. I am thinking, why is he using a comb?
But I let him go. He gets half way through drying my hair and I look like some crazy person (keep comments to oneself, thank you)
Then he proceeds to start spiking my hair with some spray shit.
Now, you all know me, I am a fat, 50 year old conservative dressing white lady , why would I want some hoochie momma hairdo.
So I stop him and say, "You know, this just isn't how I wear my hair, and not what I wanted"
He says"You need products in your hair, everyone needs products"
I say, I don't want crap in my hair. (Just in case anyone wanted to run their fingers through it, yeah, right)
He then throws the COMB down. Just then another stylist comes over and ask's what the problem is. He starts yelling. Yes, yelling.
By then he is telling her to ask me what MY problem is.
Then he gets in my face and asks ME what my problem is.
MY PROBLEM???
Yes, I have lots of problems, but this wasn't one of them. Not by a long shot.
He keeps it up.
I am not one to get intimidated easily. Only one person on this earth turns me into a sissy-la-la, and it wasn't him.
Finally, I turn to the other stylists and say "You better get him away from me"
He keeps it up and keeps it up.
Finally, the other stylists had to throw him out of the salon.
As she finished my hair,(Which, by the way, she did a great job) he was outside pacing back and forth.
I was a little afraid to leave the building. Can you believe it?
Me, afraid.
She assured me I would be fine.
I left with the manager and owners phone numbers.
The manager called me back the next day and in the understatment of the century called him unprofessional.
Unprofessional?
How about criminal lady.
She said it would not be taken lightly and she would let me know what happens.
I have yet to hear from her.
I just wonder, what the problem was? I was paying him to dry my hair as I wanted it done. He was not paying me to be there.
That's a whole other subject. Young people in the service industry. They just don't get that people pay them for services and if they don't get customers, the place usually closes and they no longer have a job.
This incident really spooked me. I don't think I conveyed what a nut this guy was.
The whole beauty shop thing got me thinking about my mother. I could have been lying in Zalewski's Funeral Home and she still would not have missed her Friday 10:00 am hair appointment at Ruth and Fran's on Butler Street.
Half of it was worring that someone would see her with her hair "A Mess". The other half of it would be that she missed out on the gossip of the week.
She would come home with all sorts of info that "They" said down the beauty shop. I never did find out who "They" were. But "They" knew all. She would have had a field day telling them about how I was treated last week at the "Beauty Parlor"
I am sure "They" never would have treated a customer like that!!!

Not to change the subject, but wait till you hear this:
We now have a southern chapter of AMG.
My friend Ruth, who was in town for last week's AMG has started a southern chapter. They even have a blog n'aht.
Here is the link if you guys want to check it out.
http://southernangermanagement.blogspot.com/


Hmm, where to go this week? Any ideas?

Nothing to Bitch about? How can that be?

I don't have anything to bitch about this week. Can you believe it?
Sorry to disappoint you all, but I am going to change the pace a little this week and talk about what a great weekend I had. At least that's where I'll start. As I've said before, I never know how these blog posts will end up. I'm sure I will find some complaint, somewhere in my weekend.
Went up to the Lake for the fourth. Was pretty uneventful, but relaxing. Watched movies and laid on beach for a few days. OK, sorry, I didn't even get through 8 sentences before finding something to bitch about. My father, God love him, is 83. He is hard of hearing and says he can't hear because everyone mumbles. I spent 4 whole days with him and had to repeat everything at least three times. That is exhausting. He also follows me around the house asking me what I am doing and why. If I want to take out the trash for him, he asks why, why am I doing it at that moment, he usually takes it out in the morning, why don't I wait till morning. If I do it anyway, he repeats over and over that if it were him, he would have waited until morning.
Then there is the ketchup story. I bought a big bottle of ketchup among other things. It was $1.33. He yelled at me because he hates big bottles of ketchup. He complained for three days. I finally lost my temper and told him to just throw the stupid bottle of ketchup away and buy a little bottle (which, by the way was the same price.)
I could go on and on, but you get the point. Needless to say, I was happy to be back on Alder Street.
Oh well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree I guess.
Back to the fun part of my weekend.
My niece, Elisabeth was in town for the weekend. She is now living in Washington DC and is moving to Chicago in three weeks.
She is the only granddaughter so we call her "Queen Elisabeth I"
What a great kid. She is 24 and since she has been a baby,we have a ball together.
We went to Sandcastle on Sunday.
Then went to the drive-in on Sunday night. What a blast.
She had never been to one, and I haven't been to one in about 25 years. We had so much fun. The place was packed. The only thing missing was the dancing hotdogs at intermission. But the man on the loud speaker seemed to have the same voice that is embedded in my memory. Could he still be working at age 105?
She had to be at the airport at 5:30 am on Monday morning, so instead to me getting up at 4:00 to drive her (That would have certainly given me something to bitch about), we got a room at the Hyatt right in the airport. She got up and could walk to her gate, and I could sleep and pretend I was on vacation.
Speaking of vacation. I am off work this week. Well, supposed to be anyhow. I am here now checking a few things. I wish I were on some exotic beach or something. (another thing to bitch about)
But I guess I can't complain, I work a total of 7 days in all of July.I know, tough life, but someones got to live it.....
Tomorrow we will be going to Hambones for Anger Management. Lizzy will be the bartender.
See you all around 8.
Maybe we can talk about planning an anger management fieldtrip to the drive-in. We will have fun, I promise.

Who Watches Toast Toast???????

I've come to this conclusion folks: I'm just not going to get up before noon anymore. That's it.
No more.
So let me explain.
Friday night I baby-sat my cousin's daughter. It was fun. First because she's a littl girl and I have lived with all boys for the good part of 25 years. Second, she's great company. We did girlie things. Talked girlie talk. Not that I'm a girlie girl or anything, but once in a while, it's fun to hang out and do girlie things. She wsas actually excited to take Smokie out for a walk with me. When I mention doing this with my boys, they run from me.
So,anyway. I went to bed really early Friday .
Got up pretty early (for me anyway) on Saturday.
Headed out to run errands.
We all know what happened last time I tried this. I really should know better.
First stop Breugger's on S. Aiken.
Hmmmm I thought, why is there a line out the door?
Standing
Standing
Waiting
Waiting
Finally see a counter.
The two people in line have been up there an awfully long time.
What could they possibly be ordering?
Then I see it.
THE COUNTER GIRL Is WATCHING THE TOAST TOAST!!!!
"This can't be" I tell myself in my Irish Whisper.
Then I see it again.
The girl sashay's over to the toaster with one bagel at a time and WATCHES IT TOAST.
Sashay's back again WITH ONE BAGEL!!!
WATCHES IT TOAST.
Again and again.
By this time I am seething.
I start the buzz.
I say to the person in front of me "Can you believe she is WATCHING TOAST TOAST?"
The buzz get louder and louder.
The woman two people behind me also starts complaining saying things like"Yeah, and it doesn't get any better when you get up to twinkle toes on the register"
By this time everyone is in an uproar.
(Sort of like Attica only different)
Miss sashay is still clueless, still never breaking a sweat, watching the toast toast.
By the time I get up to twinkle toes, I am livid.
I proceed to tell him about Miss Sashay.
He, in the understatement of the day tells me there is a line because they are shorthanded.
Shorthanded????
Shorthanded????????
Give me a break.
No, No, No Mr Twinkle toes, you are not shorthanded, you just need to hire someone who can put more than one bagel in the toaster at a time.
I swear, if she were my employee, I would have personally through her out the front door.
I just can't get over it, a line out the door and this bimbo was watching TOAST TOAST.
Oh Well.
After leaving there, I went home and just went back to sleep. Vowing to never get up before noon again.
So kids, my Friday nights had better start getting more exciting so I can sleep through the times and days that I am most angry.
Which causes me to believe I am seeing a pattern here.

Not to change the subject, but I am going up to the lake until Saturday so I will not be attending Anger Management on Thursday.
Again, if one of you want to take over for this week feel free.
But I will be floating on Conneaut Lake on my boat,
Worlds away from Miss Sashay.

See you all next week.

I apologize for grammar mistakes and mispellings. I am typing on the fly and don't have time to reread.
Happy Fourth of July.
Every year I watch A Capitol Fourth on PBS and say I am going to Washington next year.
Again I do not make it.
Oh well, Maybe next year. I love watching it on tv.

Afterthought: Did anyone find out why sashaying has such a negative conotation?

Thursday at Cafe Sam

This Thursday we are headed to Cafe Sam, 5242 Baum Blvd.(across the street from Ritter's)
We are going to be sitting upstairs on the patio. Hopefully the weather is nice, because it is beautiful up there.
A little history on Cafe Sam:
About 19 years ago I was a stay at home mom. My sister in law was getting married that December. I needed extra money for shower and wedding, plus Christmas was coming. Having waited tables in college and vowing never to do it again, I thought, what the hell, I'll just work through the holidays, it's fast easy money.
I saw an add for Cafe Sam and since it was nearby, went and applied for a job. Being a "Stouffer Girl" in college, I thought I could get a waitress job anywhere. (I still could, if the owner was over 80 years old)
Anyway, Andy, the owner was not impressed. He told me I was too old and asked if I could keep up with the college kids. I WAS THIRTY ONE FOR GOD'S SAKE.........
But he must have been desperate because he made me promise to stick it out for 4 weeks.
Long story short. It was a long four weeks. I ended up working lunch for 13 years. And he still couldn't get rid of me, because now my son works there.
It's a great place with great food, so come hungry.

FYI: While I am a few month's shy of 50, I could STILL run circles around those college kids, including my own.

We will be at Cafe Sam at 7:00. Just head up to the patio.
If weather will not participate, we will just be at the bar.

Not that it was a wild night or anything, but Ginny (First Cousin)fell and broke her finger last week leaving Elbow Room. She is having surgery tomorrow, needless to say, she will not be joining us.

Happy Birthday Dan

Happy Birthday Dan

It's hard to believe another year has passed and that this is the fifth birthday Dan hasn't celebrated with us. I'm sure he found somewhere that serves Iron City and will have a few!! God knows, he has enough people up there to help him.
We will also be celebrating here.
Dan loved his birthday, so it seems fitting to celebrate his life on this day every year.
So this flag day as in the previous four, we will be at the Elbow Room (where Dan would be having a few if he were still with us).
For those of you whom I met after Dan's passing, you probably have heard enough stories to feel like you've known him anyhow, so stop by.
You've all earned it by listening to my crying jaggs after a few too many at Mardi Gras.
Also, it is Thursday, and we all know what that means. We are going to have Anger Management along with Dan's birthday.
I have my priorities in order...........

The Anger Management Girls are proof that I have a sense of humor,
which Dan always thought I lacked. He told me I take life way too seriously. Too bad he had to die for me to learn that.
I could hear him now, legs crossed, smoking a cigarette, drinking a bottle of Iron and saying "Yeah, now she becomes fun......"
Oh well, story of my life. Always a little late, wrong place at wrong time, ect, ect.....

I will be at Elbow Room at 7:00. A little earlier than usual.
See you all then.

Singing the Blues or Having a Case of the Mean Red’s

It’s just one of those days.
Day’s I’m having more and more of. Feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah I know, I don’t even feel angry anymore. I know, I know, don’t say it. But I don’t. I haven’t cared enough about anything recently to be angry about.
I just don’t give a shit anymore.
A little self pity inserted here.


Sorry.
Things have to get better here girls.
I have two really close friends battling life-threatening diseases and I know I shouldn’t whine, but like I said, just one of those days..
Seems like the days are turning into weeks are turning into months.
Something’s got to give here.
As Audrey Hepburn says in my favorite movie “Breakfast as Tiffany’s”. I’m having a “Case of the Mean Reds.”
I have no reason to feel this way; I should be counting my blessings.
I have a reasonably good life. Other than a few bumps in the road, one being my husband dropping dead, which was a very big bump. (Scratch that, it’s a fucking mountain)

But I have an exciting life. I’ve been around, no, not that way. I mean I travel and do things other people would find exciting.
I also have great friends and family.
So why do I have this case of the Mean Reds?

OK, if anyone hears rumbling, it’s my husband rolling in his grave……..I had a startling revelation this week.
I think I actually miss the chaos of my old life when my kids were little. Dan was working 60 hrs a week, which was a constant point of contention for me. A whole neighborhood of kids running wet through my house all day because we were the only ones in the neighborhood with a pool(One of those tacky above ground ones). The phones ringing constantly, school meetings. Having to crawl over bikes to get to my front porch. You get the point.
I remember sitting in my kitchen thinking I can’t wait till this is all over and I can just sit on my sofa and watch whatever I want.
You know what, I think its been about a month since anyone has sat on my sofa. There was a time when we used to fight over who got to sit on the sofa. I used to make kids and husband take turns. Yes husband, he was just a bigger kid. Sometimes he was worse than the kids.
One time he broke his leg playing Vikings in our back alley. He had all the neighborhood kids broke up into teams. He yelled charge and slipped and fell. The ER Dr.s had fun with that. He was 37 years old.
Anyway, I guess with Devin having gone up the lake for the summer and Danny in Mt. Washington, I should be happy, shouldn’t I?
I am not.
I guess this is what they mean by “Empty Nest Syndrome”.
I used to call people who complained of things like that fools.
Little did I know. (As usual)
Oh well, I’m done whining now. Sorry, won’t happen again.
I don’t want to turn into a sissy la-la. We all know how I feel about sissy girls.

For this week’s anger management we are going on a field trip to see Room Full of Blues at the Arts Festival.
They sing the blues better than I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We will be meeting for happy hour at 1902 Landmark in Market Square sometime around 5:30. Then head over to concert around 7.


Coming attractions:
June 14- Elbow Room for Dan's Birthday.
June 21 - Cafe Sam (Up on the Deck)
June 28 - Drinks on Ginny Ann's(First Cousin)deck.

Be forewarned: Mel-cum has major anger issues about people walking dogs in Frick Park without leashes. I think she is just crabby because she knocked her hip out not acting her age at a hash event this past weekend.