We Could'a Been Contenders!

So.... we were supposed to be Pierogi's tomorrow night at the Pirate game. But they won't let us because, get this, they now have PROFESSIONAL PIEROGI'S.
WTF? Professional Pierogi's???????
Just what every parents dreams their kid will be.
I can hear it now.

Recent College Grad: Hey mom, I finally got a job.

Proud Mom: Oh honey, I am so proud of you. I knew you could do it. Even in this bad economy, my child managed to get a job. I can't wait to tell Hilda next door. You know, her daughter graduated from Harvard last year and she still can't find a job. Tell me son, how are the benefits?

RCG: Oh yeah. Really good mom.

PM: Jesus, Mary and Joseph and all the Saints in Heaven. Thank you.

RCG: I get to go to all the Pirate games for free.

PM: What?

RCG: Pirate games, I can go to all of them for free.

PM: Well, I guess that's a nice benefit. What about health care.

RCG: Well no, they didn't mention anything about that.

PM: So tell me all about your new job. What exactly will you be doing? What engineering firm are you going to be working for?

RCG: Engineering firm? Mom, I'm not exactly going to be using that engineering degree.

PM: What? Well, that's ok honey. Everyone has to start somewhere. What exactly are you going to be doing?

RCG: (States proudly)Mom, you are looking at the new Sauerkraut Saul. I am going to be a full time pierogi at the Pirate games.

RCG: Mom, mom. Mom, are you ok. Mom, get up mom.

Or how about this scenario:

Recently engaged daughter: Mom, Dad. I have great news. I met the man I am going to marry.

Mom and Dad: Oh honey, that is wonderful. So tell me, what does our new son-in-law do?

REW: He's a professional pirogi!

REW: Hey, let me out of this basement. Come on, it's dark in here. Let me out!

Sigh, oh well. We would have been the best damn pierogi's there ever was!

If only in our dreams.