Monday, September 15, 2008

Today is my wedding anniversary.
My husband Dan was the only man I ever fell for who wasn't looking over my shoulder for someone better. Moments before, he was actually talking to my friend, looking over her shoulder at me.Damn, he was so handsome he took my breath away.
We met on New Years Eve. He said he knew I was the woman he was going to marry by Feb 13.I was working for the FBI and considering leaving for the CIA. I had an interview in VA and asked him along. He didn't give me an answer right away and acted weird for a day or two. A few years later,I overheard him telling one of his friends he had to think long and hard before going on that trip because he said he knew if he went with me, he was going to marry me. Here's me thinking he hates me and is avoiding me. When actually he's deciding if he wants to marry me.
So I married him and the fucker went and died.

That, my friends, is why I'm just so damn angry all the time.

It's weird. When your husband dies, no one knows what to do on days like this. So the day came and is now almost over with no fanfare. I didn't even feel like telling my kids what today was.
I never made a big deal about our anniversary when Dan was alive, let alone now that he's dead. We would just head to Elbow Room for dinner or a drink without the kids. Exchange cards. Keeping it low key, so that no one, except my mom and a few others, would acknowledge the day besides us.
I would get flowers. As I did just about every payday for 20 years. He was never much for buying me presents for Birthdays or Christmas. But on the way home from work every other Thursday, he would always stop to get me flowers. I liked that. Much better than any present, as a matter of fact. He had a thing for flowers. On our first anniversary, he looked up the flower of the month to represent each month we were married. Then he went and bought me one of each. That is by far the most romantic present I have ever received. I kept asking him who gave him the idea and he insisted he thought of it himself.
Right before our first anniversary, we had just gotten our first VCR. Remember when they were giant machines that took up the whole top of a TV? So for his first anniversary present I bought him a silent movie from 1915 called Birth of a Nation. Being the Civil War nut, he was so excited. We had to watch it that night. So much for romantic first anniversaries! Yeah, smart girl I am. I buy my new husband a silent movie three hours and seven minutes long and talk through the whole thing because I was bored to death. He was ready to kill me.
Can't believe we had a second anniversary, let alone 19 more before he died.
Happy Anniversary Dan, self proclaimed Prince of Ireland.

I'll get back to political stuff tomorrow.


Judi said...

Well, I have to tell are a writer. You keep saying you are not a writer and then keep proving yourself 100% wrong.
Now you got me pissed at Dan too. Why did he go and die?

So, what do you do on your wedding anniversary when your spouse is dead? What an interesting question. A husbandless anniversary. My MIL (the Italian that she is) lights a candle in front of their wedding picture and cries. My Irish father (who buried 3 wives) gets himself invited over for dinner (and decides on what I'll cook) then reminisces about the wife from that particular anniversary....3 times a year we hear the same stories. That's the difference between the Italians and the Irish, you see. Seems as though your Irish is showing, Eileen. I'd prefer a good love story with a few laughs to a burning candle anyday. So, there you go....sharing your story is how you celebrate your anniversary. Happy Anniversary to you!!!

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

OMG your dad has me beat. Weird thing.My boyfriend all through college and one other boyfriend have also passed away.(I didn't really have alot of boyfriends. Five to be exact)
My joke, although its not really funny, but true, is that almost every man I kissed on the lips is dead! There are only two left to tell the tale.
The poor plumber better up his life insurance!